Meet the Author's Author

Meet the Author's Author
Live for Jesus! That's what matters! That you see the light in me and come along! :)

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Stumbling

I was...and probably am going to attempt...a blog post called, Dismantling the Princess View today.

Last night, I was...once again reminded of my very frail humanity and my great propensity to fall. I've asked God's forgiveness but am very uncertain as to whether I will be able to stop myself next time. In fact, I won't, but the question is whether I will lean on God's grace implicitly or ignore what I know I should do for the sensual pleasure of the moment. (And knowing what's coming up on Thursday, I'm terrified).

It's kind'a strange...ever since God brought me back to Him, He's taken on one issue after another. I haven't even dealt with one and there's another staring in my face.

Started off with idolatry...I have a major battle with not switching my computer on before spending time with God each day.

Then Sunday events and the row with my dad constantly over them...I want to end up surrendering from a Christian point of view, not because I can't take the stress.

My temper and bad language being another thing that needs control...

The fact that I've learned to switch down on pain and run away from anything that hurts - I need to actually learn to deal with pain to empathise with people, to identify with them as Christ would.

Modesty - trying to get my standard of dress back up to where it will glorify God.

Now, the purity issue that He graciously ended for me when He brought me back to Himself is obviously under test to see if it's truly surrendered to Him. WHY, Lord? You know that I work off sense and emotion and I don't even stop to think properly about what I'm doing?!

Poema ~ Steps

Why is God bringing all of these on top of me right now? I'm three weeks back and I have this to deal with. Certainly He's brought them one at a time, but I haven't finished dealing with the one before He's shown me another!

Maybe it's because of the fact that it's my second backslide...and He's trying to bring me back to where I was before and is making up for my stupid waste of time...I don't know.


There's one interesting thing that appears to be coming out though. He may not have finished working on an area in my life - very definitely not! - but He seems to be waiting until I surrender an area of my life to Him and am helpless to change and made willing for Him to take over in it, and then showing me another.

This is almost extraordinary; I don't remember it happening before. But then, I was focussing almost exclusively on reaching the Squadron for Christ, to concentrate on being made willing to become more like Him.


Anyway. I just wanted to say...I wanted to blog Dismantling the Princess View, but I'm afraid of looking and being a hypocrite for doing so. I did want to clarify kinda what was happening so I wasn't being deceitful. Please...please pray for me.

God bless.

~ Jane