Meet the Author's Author

Meet the Author's Author
Live for Jesus! That's what matters! That you see the light in me and come along! :)

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Song I Should Hate

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special.

Once bitten and twice shy,
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye.
Tell me baby, do you recognize me?
Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me
Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying 'I love you'; I meant it.
Now I know what a fool I've been,
But if you kiss me now, I know you'd fool me again.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special.

A crowded room and friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice
My ***, I thought you were someone to rely on
Me, I guess I was a shoulder to cry on.
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A girl on a cover but you tore her apart;
Maybe this year, maybe this year
I'll give it to someone special.

Cause last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away.
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special.

And last Christmas...
And this year...
It won't be anything like, anything like...

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

So Long

Considering the messes I'm making online as well as off...I'm staying online until after Christmas and then, God willing, with the potential of a job, I'll be mostly offline, sticking to two or three daily tweets, a blog or so and the story we're working on.

I will probably be on chat, but rarely if ever as visible. People I invite to talk to me when they are online, whether I appear to be or not, are Kiehl, Shayna, Jess, Eagles, Alexis, Aimee, Nick, Taylor, Stephanie, Katherine, Laura, Drew, Dirk, Greg, Holly, Jake and Katie. Well, those are the invitations I extend. :P About 7 will be taken up.

God willing, see you in Kansas next year, Yanks.


Oh, for those of you who doubt I will - remember I left OYAN.

Friday, December 17, 2010

David Horowitz at UCSD 5/10/2010. Hosted by Young Americans for Freedom...

Very cleverly, David Horowitz manages to turn this young female student's question to point a bullet at her own head, while showing other Americans exactly what type of people are taking over their country.

Monday, December 06, 2010

Guy-Girl Relationships

Skyping earlier with a girl friend of mine, who recently broke off a developing close friendship with a mutual guy friend, lead to some serious thinking.

She didn't break off with him because she was attracted to him or was in danger of losing her heart to him. She did it simply because he was a boy, and she was a girl, and she didn't think she should be that close to a guy.

And yes, this principle hurts. I know. I've been through it, and still am. No, I'm not condemning people's consciences. I'm simply expressing my own thoughts.

My ideal of a perfect world is where there aren't stupid blocks because of gender. The world starts off attempting to start children at age 3 with treating boys like potential boyfriends and partners in illicit behaviour. Christians tend to go to one of two extremes; throw up a barrier that blocks practically all but the barest minimum of communication between boys and girls, or else behave in a manner that's cheaper than the world - flirting shamelessly with Christian guys simply to get a husband.

As I said on my chat: I've always thought it a shame that everyone can't look past the barriers of gender and just be equally friends. That's always one thing that I've liked in the world's teens that I know of that I don't see in the church.
In the church, girls are too busy flirting with the guys cause they're "called to be married" and the guys there are their only chances. In short, they're desperate.
One thing I love about Mikey and Shan at cadets. I love both of them the same and can talk to both of them equally freely.

I love the illustration of my friendships with cadets Shannon Y and Mikey H. (Wow, I do this with non-Christians....!) Both are dear friends of mine, and I am big sister and confidante to both. Never in a million years would I be in danger of inappropriate behaviour from Mikey, yet we can speak freely to and help each other. I don't have to have a set of rules to manage him, because we have a good, solid brother-sister relationship.

So many ideas, so much confusion...why can't we make a little perfection in this sin-cursed, messed-up, completely confused world of ours?

Sunday, December 05, 2010

From the Land of Dreams

Thinking about whether to flick the central heating on...but my sister says it's already too warm. I'm freezing though, sitting here curled up on the posh mauve pink chair in my fluffy baby pink dressing gown over my schoolgirl pinafore. Ooh, aren't there some dressing gowns you adore!

I guess I'm sitting here scribbling for lack of motivation to do anything. I mean, I need to doctor some photos, write a story, write a poem on snow, and write other blogs with more meaning. Just in a lazy mood and not doing it. :P

My baby niece, Ayanna, is lying in front of me, asleep on her bouncing chair. I am balanced on the edge of the seat with one foot on the wire edging, ready to start rocking again if she stirs (which is occurring every few minutes!). My sister lies huddled up to my right on our sofa bed, asleep; exhausted by long feeds, very little sleep, stress and depression.

On the final Friday of my two-week sojourn at my sister's to help her round the house and provide emotional support, her husband picked a fight with her over Ayanna, practically dropping the little one back in her basket from a fair height. Mom came round that night to stay, as I was doing the NIA Military Tattoo the next day, and boy, she was angry. Later that night, Dad and I get a phone call to say she'd finally convinced Sam to come over to stay with us for a while.

As procedures move on, it looks like we're definitely headed for a second divorce in our family (in my lifetime). Tell you something, it's an awesome and aweful thing to watch procedures move towards a divorce. But does, "for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish/honour and obey" also include "through abuse and ill treatment, through provocation and spite, through drunken crazes...." etc?
Sam and 'Yanna are camping on our living room floor. I glance around to see baby things everywhere; nappies, baskets, changing mat, bathtub, clothes galore....and my poor sister's living out of a suitcase too. Dennis, for now, is buying time to attempt to get another visa, and is not moving out to let Sam and Ayanna go home. We think she will be here over Christmas.

Little Ayanna's mouth is puckered down in a pretty pout. Say, I've never seen a baby as stunning as this. Even if last night's one hour solid BOUNCING took all the strain on my back. :P

Around me, the tinsel, stars, angels, snowmen, little sheep, candles and other little Christmassy knick-knacks are blossoming up on the walls.

Tell you something...I never knew there was such a knack to bouncing babies. Glancing down at Yanna as she stirs again, I have to attempt to judge just how asleep she is to put the effort into the bounce. Too much bounce and she could waken...too little and she could start screaming. Depends on how much awake she is!

I keep checking my phone, too...a young fellow I met at last week's Tattoo, an Army sergeant called Duncan, asked for my phone number. He's quite nice, smart, educated...we've been swapping texts daily for a week now. It's under my sister's supervision at the minute...which CAN be slightly uncomfortable. :P

Our first Christmas cards appeared at the end of own first personal one popped through the letterbox today, from my dear elderly next door neighbour, Auntie Dorothy. I love my neighbours round here, and they mostly all like me too. Even the Muslim chap at the top of the road will stop his taxi to exchange words with me, and the Muslim lady across the road will always smile, wave and say hi! For a bad neighbourhood, we really do have gems among the cookies. ;)

Sam is really tired...I can tell that from the deepness of her breathing. How long 'Yanna will leave us in peace though is questionable...I have to keep breaking off in the middle of typing just to bounce her back to sleep. Her eyes are rolling under their black lashes and her teeny brown hands are fluttering in the air. But say, she's one sweet little bundle when she's asleep in a fat ball as you cuddle her.

I've been sleeping downstairs every night on the floor with Sam, just to try and rock Ayanna when she's screaming so Sam can get some rest, and keep an eye on the feeding times. (Yes, I've messed up twice when I've been half asleep and wrote the end up with something like 3:45 - 3:24...and you know it's not 4:24...and you wonder what the blazes it is. :\ :D)

It's extremely hard work for someone who's used to a fair bit of sleep and is NOT a morning person. In fact, as I sit here, I'm wondering yet again, as I enter my fourth week of most-time baby-sitting, what exactly God's doing giving me this to do. Is this an attempt at wearing me out completely, taking me off my computer (although I have the blessing of being able to go on til 3 am :P) a weird sense of humour (c'mon, we all know the Lord has one!) or else an effort to teach me self denial and patience? :P

One of my friends had the audacity (just teasing, Kiehl! ;) ) to say that God was preparing me for motherhood! XD I hardly think so, but I'm wondering what lessons in this He intends to use in my career plan!

Sometimes...sometimes I almost hate holding 'Yanna. When she's hungry and she turns her head to me, the desire to feed her is...extremely strange, considering she's no child of mine. :P I love her very, very much and would willingly do anything to serve her...even staying awake, crying and bouncing her for a solid hour....:P

Tending her and helping my sis, my career has suddenly seemed to become second place and dull. I really, really need to keep my eyes centred on my goal. Or "woman" might kick in over "common sense". ;)

So yes...surrounded by dreamers and dreaming my dreams. I hope you don't mind me sharing part of my afternoon with you!

Love and God bless,
~ Janie

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Why You Shouldn't Flirt

Copying this from my Buzz.

Getting involved with flirtations to get out of pain.

1 - It's extremely selfish. When you get so introverted you're only focusing on getting the benefits of a relationship to hide from pain, it's selfish. But you're too introverted to see it.

2 - It's like dope. A happiness drug. For the momentary highs of it, you keep doing it.

3 - It gets you involved in a whirlwind that you don't have to think about.

4 - It keeps you searching for the one true thing that will stop you searching that you never find. (Only Christ can fulfill).

5 - It teaches you to stay distant from true love (only sourced in God).