Meet the Author's Author

Meet the Author's Author
Live for Jesus! That's what matters! That you see the light in me and come along! :)

Monday, February 28, 2011

The Organ

No, this isn't the one I play. This is my grandparents' one from Woodstock, Canada; it used to be in their home in Bridgend, Wales. My dad inherited it; my mom hates it. So my dad is leaving it to me in his will.

It needs a lot of revamping, and requires a LOT of knee and leg work for the bellows and sound effects, but it makes awesome sound! (At least, the in-tune keys do. :D)

(Yes, I'm in my guinea pig/chicken clean out clothes. You're looking at the ORGAN. :P)

Prayer and Bible Reading

Recently, as the Lord has been getting my own Bible reading under control (with much thanks and blessings to my friends - Mrs Beals, Kyle, Braden and Kiehl), I've heard of more and more of my friends struggling with Bible reading and/or prayer time, if not in the morning, then at all through the day.

Our strongest Relationship needs to be with our Heavenly Lover throughout our lives, above any earthly attachment. God has been showing me this; and at some point soon I will share it with you.

I love this little poem that so aptly describes what happens in our lives as we start to neglect the most important Relationship in this life and the next.

I got up early one morning,
And rushed right into the day;
I had so much to accomplish,
I didn’t have time to pray.

Troubles just tumbled about me,
And heavier came each task.
"Why doesn’t God help me?" I wondered.
He answered, "You didn’t ask."

I tried to come into God’s presence;
I used all my keys at the lock.
God gently and lovingly chided,
"My child, you didn’t knock."

I wanted to see joy and beauty,
But the day toiled on gray and bleak.
I wondered why God didn’t show me.
He said, "You didn’t seek."

I woke up early this morning,
And paused before entering the day.
I had so much to accomplish
That I had to take time to pray.

By Regine Anne Baldomar

The Reason I Stay With 196

Considering I deal with blasphemy, cadets joking about sleeping with me, being laughed at for my faith, trying to control indecent talk...I often wonder even now, especially when people ask me, why I stay at 196. Until I get this.

(7:56:14 PM) Jenny: you only have to do the odd numbered questions

(7:56:47 PM) Holly Mae: ah thank God (Y)

(7:56:54 PM) Jamie : xD...

(7:57:05 PM) Jamie Y entered the room.

(7:57:12 PM) Holly Mae: brb

(7:57:37 PM) Sian Jones: Amen.

(7:57:51 PM) Jamie Y: heyy

(7:58:04 PM) Jamie : sian

(7:58:16 PM) Jamie : why's God always called 'he'?

(7:58:24 PM) Holly Mae:

(7:58:28 PM) Holly Mae: :|

(7:58:59 PM) Jamie : SIAN

(7:59:10 PM) Jamie Y: lol

(7:59:16 PM) Sian Jones: Sorry.

(7:59:35 PM) Jamie : why's God always called 'he'?

(8:00:09 PM) Sian Jones: Just getting the right answer. :P

(8:00:17 PM) Jamie : okie :P

(8:00:21 PM) Jenny: holly i have the answers

(8:00:27 PM) Holly Mae: :-O

(8:00:32 PM) Holly Mae: how?

(8:00:41 PM) Jamie : cackulator?

(8:00:43 PM) Jenny: try it yourself and i'll help you tomorrow if you need to

(8:00:47 PM) Holly Mae: lol

(8:00:48 PM) Jenny: i already did it

(8:00:51 PM) Jamie Y: calculater*

(8:01:05 PM) Jenny: calculator

(8:01:11 PM) Holly Mae: I FOUND THE ANSWER PAPER

(8:01:18 PM) Jamie Y: lol

(8:01:22 PM) Holly Mae: live = saved

(8:01:39 PM) Sian Jones: Because Scripture is God-breathed and God-inspired, and
it says that He is.

(8:01:46 PM) Sian Jones: Also, Jesus came as a Man.

(8:02:15 PM) Holly Mae: just because he had a beard everybody says hes a man :/

(8:02:16 PM) Jamie : sexist

(8:02:46 PM) Sian Jones: He was a Man because the Scripture says so.

(8:02:50 PM) Jamie Y: is god a scientist?

(8:02:53 PM) Jenny: but it doesn't give you the working and its confusing 'cause
its for all levels

(8:02:54 PM) Jamie : oh ok =)

(8:03:07 PM) Holly Mae: brb :)

(8:03:15 PM) Sian Jones: If God created the universe, do you not think He created
mathematics and science? ;)

(8:03:36 PM) Jamie : it all started with the big bang

(8:03:37 PM) Jamie : BANG

(8:03:45 PM) Sian Jones: Scientific proof?

(8:03:45 PM) Jamie Y: i bet God made the big bang

(8:03:54 PM) Jenny: big bang :)

(8:03:55 PM) Sian Jones: Even now, it's still called the THEORY of evolution.

(8:04:03 PM) Jamie : stephen hawking is a vegetable with a big brain

(8:04:07 PM) Jenny: lol

(8:04:12 PM) Sian Jones: Why would God lie about the way that He created the

(8:04:30 PM) Jenny: never take life seriously; nobody gets out alive anyway

(8:04:31 PM) Jamie : why does God say that gays should be stoned to death??

(8:04:46 PM) Jamie Y: maybe the guy who wrote the bible made a mistake ;)

(8:04:52 PM) Jamie : xD

(8:05:04 PM) Jamie Y: its possable

(8:05:06 PM) Jenny: lol

(8:05:09 PM) Jenny: possible

(8:05:13 PM) Sian Jones: No, it's not.

(8:05:14 PM) Jamie Y: w/e

(8:05:28 PM) Jamie : shush

(8:05:34 PM) Sian Jones: Because God inspired the people who wrote the Bible, and
He never makes mistakes.

(8:05:44 PM) Jamie : why did the old testiment say gays shouldbe stoned to death??

(8:05:56 PM) Sian Jones: In answer to Jay - because it is against the way He
created people to be, and therefore it's an abomination in His eyes.

(8:06:13 PM) Holly Mae: baccccckkk

(8:06:16 PM) Jamie : then why did he make me like this? o.O

(8:06:36 PM) Sian Jones: He didn't.

(8:06:40 PM) Sian Jones: You chose to be that way.

(8:06:46 PM) Jamie : but he made everything, right?

(8:06:48 PM) Jenny: no he didn't

(8:06:54 PM) Sian Jones: Correct.

(8:06:59 PM) Jamie : sexuality's not an option =S

(8:07:03 PM) Sian Jones: He created everything in the beginning.

(8:07:26 PM) Sian Jones: People have leanings that way BECAUSE of sin - the choice
is yours whether you fight it or not.

(8:07:30 PM) Jenny: exactly- you can't help if you're straight or not

(8:08:29 PM) Jamie Y: sian just killed you off (not literaly)

(8:08:40 PM) Holly Mae: lol

(8:08:43 PM) Sian Jones: But you can choose whether to live the way you're meant
to live by the law of God - or not.

(8:09:03 PM) Holly Mae: Y, hesom, luke wants you lol

(8:09:24 PM) Holly Mae: lmao

(8:09:33 PM) Jamie : straights have liked the opposite (gender) all their lives, i have liked boys all my life

(8:09:35 PM) Jenny: lukes talking to me -_-

(8:09:40 PM) Holly Mae: lol

(8:09:41 PM) Jamie Y: then why didnt he just start a convo

(8:09:45 PM) Holly Mae: ??

(8:09:53 PM) Holly Mae: he just did i think

(8:10:14 PM) Jamie Y: yeah he did now

(8:10:18 PM) Holly Mae: jenny my mom made cake :')

(8:10:18 PM) Jenny: why doesn't he just join this one

(8:10:22 PM) Jenny: yay

(8:10:29 PM) Jamie Y: but why did he ask you to ask us

(8:10:31 PM) Jenny: can you bring me some tomorrow??

(8:10:31 PM) Holly Mae: cause nobody wants to invite him lol

(8:10:37 PM) Holly Mae: yes :)

(8:10:40 PM) Jenny: yay :)

(8:10:47 PM) Jamie : he does my head in

(8:10:48 PM) Sian Jones: Jay - you've liked girls too. You chose to give in and go
to the other side.

(8:10:52 PM) Jenny: looking forward to it

(8:10:53 PM) Sian Jones: Who does??

(8:10:59 PM) Jenny: luke

(8:11:14 PM) Jamie : the dark side

(8:11:14 PM) Jenny: what did she say about friday hol?

(8:11:34 PM) Holly Mae: lmao idk i asked and she was like i made cake

(8:11:42 PM) Holly Mae: *party*

(8:11:46 PM) Sian Jones: Lol, why?

(8:12:11 PM) Holly Mae: *-)

(8:12:29 PM) Jenny: lol

(8:12:34 PM) Jenny: what cake?

(8:12:46 PM) Sian Jones: @Jay - Btw, nothing I said was intended to hurt or annoy
you. The Word of God IS an offence, and you know that as a Christian, that's where
I must take my stand. You're still my friend, a great person and my grandson. :P Okay? :)

(8:13:05 PM) Sian Jones: *hug*

(8:13:09 PM) Holly Mae: chocolate cake (Y)

(8:13:17 PM) Jenny: yay

(8:13:23 PM) Jamie : xD

(8:13:28 PM) Jenny: hou better bring me some or i'll kill you!!

(8:13:29 PM) Sian Jones: Jay?

(8:13:31 PM) Jamie Y:!!!:D

(8:13:31 PM) Jamie : *huggies*

Tuesday, February 22, 2011


Last week I woke up early in the morning; tired, dragging myself around, I was not appreciative of being rushed out of bed to go and clean out the chickens.

I stepped outside and looked around casually as I carried the cleaning items over to the chicken house...and gasped in happy surprise at what I saw.

I noticed even more when I was scrubbing down the roost, so much so that I pinched my brother's camera because I wanted to show you.

Spring crocuses:

Purple and pale lilac:

The forsythia blooms:

Unfolding its flowers:


Whiter than snow:

Crocuses on the other wall:

An overview of the snowdrops:

These are only a small selection of what I saw. There are daffodil plants just starting to glint with gold at the edge. Bluebell leaves are stirring in the dirt. Sticky new buds are appearing on nearly every tree. Life is starting again

God is not finished with you. Spring returns, and so will life for you. Lift your head and look at your future, not your present. Who you are doesn't shape your future. It's who you allow yourself to become. Fight, and with the Hand of God you will eventually win. Sit back and wail, and you become a decaying swamp of muck, useless to God, your friends and yourself. I know. I've been there. Listen. And change.

Revamp 2

I blogged a while back on the idea of making over this blog, due to some changes in my lifestyle and myself.

Due to comments from Zac Cannottell and Kiehl, and with great help from Jay, my blog is now done over. Thank you all so, so much, for your helpful suggestions and your aid!

I've changed the fonts on my blog title and my tabs to more reflect my personality.

My profile has been changed from being "wrapped up in military life" as I am not that way any more.

On Jay's suggestion, I changed the title to Cadet for Christ ~ Running the Course, as my background and future is not and will not be completely cadet/Forces based again; however, I am still a cadet.

My blog description has gone from being "A Christian Air Cadet's history" to "Products of my active and thoughtless brain scattered here for your entertainment and encouragement. I pray you find both laughter and blessings within!"

As I rarely, if ever, use this blog to tell of my cadet encounters, which are becoming fewer and farther between, it's been changed to reflect somewhat more of myself.

And of course - the most noticeable change. My background. No longer plain blue, displaying birds, indicative of my love for (which remains) and intention of joining the RAF, I picked another blue background, but this one with a mountain - a large and steep one.

There are two ways I have of looking at mountains in a Christian life.

One way of considering it is that the mountains are the peaks of spiritual closeness to God, peace in His will and joy in His mercy. The valleys are the spiritual lows - the times of depression, of doubt, when the forces of darkness gather around you.

The second way is when you're standing in a valley taking a good hard look at that climb ahead of you. It's one of the hardest things you've ever done, but you know that the bliss of God's favour and blessing is at the top, and that that is where He wants you. You start the climb, you slip off millions of rocks, you cut and break yourself and cry out, "Where is His hand in all of this? If He wanted me here, why doesn't He stop me hurting myself?"
You can't see that His hand prevents you from falling all the way to the bottom, nor that the reason you're hurting is because (mostly) you take your eyes off Him at the top and look at the rock you're climbing.

I love adventure, internally. When I overcome my fear, I love adventure. And even though I kick and complain, I love the excitement of living day by day with God. Yes, even those steps in the dark!!

From now on, by His grace alone, I live to serve the King of Adventure.

My Wedding

If I ever get married, this is the music I want to walk down the aisle to. It's beautiful.

Hope you don't mind, husband-to-be-whoever-you-are! XD :P

Thankfulness 4 ~ Walking the Dog

Today's words of praise while walking the dog!

#61 Being trusted with keys to the house (today was the first time!! :D)

#62 Having Sparkie. He is such a blessing!

#63 The crisp bite to the air

#64 The silence on the streets

#65 The smell of a coal fire more than the usual choking exhaust fumes

#66 The field at the end of my road

#67 The road being 20 minutes long for a walk!

#68 The field looking like a small section of country penned in by roads

#69 My God-given charm with a lot of animals

#70 God's grace granted to smile at people and the blessing of their smiling back!

Sunday, February 20th, 2011

I am cleaning out the chickens, bending over the chipboard floor, cleaning off the muck and disinfectant with a few scraps of kitchen towel.

My MP3 plays out John Waller's "While I'm Waiting".

Suddenly, I hear Dad calling my name and look up, removing one earplug from my ear. A horrendous racket hits my ear from some loudspeaker.

Dad, grimly: It's Arabic.

Me: It can't be!! It's Sunday, not Friday!

I run to the fence and look over the next two gardens to the street, then turning my head to the right so I can catch a little more of it. I listen, intent. The Church of St. Peter's is chiming its bells. It is 10am.

At first I think it could be someone driving around speaking the Gospel, since it is Sunday morning, and I cannot distinguish any words. Then I hear a slur on a sentence and I have no doubt. The accent is too clear.

I turn to Dad: Why?

Dad: Either because it's Sunday, or they could be calling out to their comrades because of what's going on in Egypt and Libya.

Me: So? This is Britain - they wouldn't leave their comfy homes to go and fight out there.

Dad: No, but they could be stirring them up to do the same here.

He goes back inside, closing the door. I look up at the blue, blue sky with the fluffy white clouds.

England, my Britain. How I love you, with fire and passion and all the energy of my heart's patriotism.

I continue gazing up, and whisper: Oh God, spare my country yet. For the sake of those who still serve You, save my country. For the sake of those who are gone before, for the sake of John Wycliffe, William Tyndale, Thomas Ridley, Hugh Latimer, Oliver Cromwell, John Bunyan - spare my country yet!

I fear that is not the last time a foreign cry of a foreign religion will sound over the beloved air and streets of my country.

In Christ,

A Plan of Action

Today I have:
Got dressed
Read my Bible: Matthew 26 - Mark 1

Today I intend to:
Walk the dog
Eat dinner

Email ten people; nine from Hotmail, one from Gmail
Do "Debugger" for Jay
Blog two more posts
Make ten bracelets/paint a plate
Stop at 5 pm and polish my parade shoes and iron my uniform
Go to cadets
Come home and go online
Manage about twenty chats and hopefully go on OYAN

There are 10 goals to complete, and it is 11:45 am. I'm just getting makeup on and will be off to walk the dog. I also have to figure out tea somewhere in there.

I will let you know how I fare! Please keep pushing me - I need some kind of schedule back in my life.

Love in the Lord and
In Christ,


Monday, February 21, 2011


This is a notice to all of my American friends. If you don't know me fairly well, then please ignore this.

Due to circumstances with the family I planned to stay with expecting their first grandchild around the time I am (God willing) in the States, I am wondering if any OYANer in Olathe, Kansas, in the surrounding area or who plans to go to the OYAN workshops would consider taking me in for two-three months.
I know that this does sound rather cheeky, but I promise that I will work very hard if that can be in exchange for room and board.

I seriously do not want to impose upon the good people who intend on taking me in at a time like this. They will have enough to do without the burden of a strange guest on them also. They were intending on taking me in anyway; this is just my attempt to relieve some of the stress.

If you are interested in having a wild-and-crazy Brit in your house for that extraordinarily long amount of time, email me at:

In Christ,

Sunday, February 20, 2011

The World's Love

Warning: Not suitable for younger readers.

Thursday morning during work, my brain was working overtime. I guess that comes with fervent praying and thinking, something which is not an unusual process with me, but one that I haven't subjected myself to for some time.

Results of this being, 1) I was able to write an email with prayerful consideration, and 2) three blog posts I wanted to write.

This is a minor one, but still an interesting note.

As I was cleaning down the front of her fridge, I noticed that my employer had a certificate on it from her boyfriend/partner. "The World's Sexiest Female". A few of the words underneath were, "hot, sassy, sexy, flirty". The cute little picture in the corner was one of those little-girl stick figures, with an angelic smile, red horns in her head, a pointed tail and a trident. (No, it wasn't me. :) )

It struck me as I looked at it that that is entirely the world's idea of love. All guys want in a girl is the hottest, flirtiest, most gorgeous girl out, and if you don't get her, you're going for second best. Some guys would quite proudly state that they like second bests better, but the point remains that the mindset is still that the girl is second best.
And girls constantly buy into it all the time - including Christian girls. If you aren't trendy and gorgeous, guys don't go for you.
Problem is, the guys act that way, and the girls believe it.

There was one accurate thing about that certificate. It is devilish. It fosters the insecurity most girls feel, always trying and failing to measure up to that unattainable standard.
No matter how hard you try, there is always going to be another girl "more beautiful" than you.
Satan holds up a fake portrait of earthly beauty, and the guys run after the will-o'-the-wisp image, searching for its copy in the girls they meet. The girls run after the makeup and cosmetics, trying to make themselves equal that "perfection".

But your eyes are always going to be too small, too large, too crossed; your nose too snub, too squat, too big; your mouth too large, too small; your hair too plain, too straight, too curly; your figure too tiny, too tall, too fat, too thin.

By holding that standard, Satan distracts the world to search for something unachievable; one of the best tricks he owns to pull people away from Christ, to always search and never find.
And swayed by the influence of those around them, Christians too first follow Lot's wife and look, with the billboards, the shops, the clothes, the perfume, shampoo, the simplest things of life distracting them. Ever noticed those words on the front of your bubble bath? My shower gel reads, "Mystique - sensual and romantic". The bottle and gel are pink - the picture outline on the front, a dark scene, black against a pink background. I was reading it the other day, thinking about it for the first time. Even small things like that are attempts to allure you.

No, I'm not suggesting we go live in communes. :P In the circles I have moved in from a child, my family are considered extremists. In the circles I now move in online, I am labelled as a secularised Christian. The contrast between the two is amusing.
Communes do not allow us to be the witness to the world that Christ commanded us to be. But being involved in the day to day things in the world without conscious thought of what we are facing leaves us open to Satan's almost invisible snipers.

I have written this throughout the day as I move around from place to place. Late this afternoon, I stood in one aisle of the makeup section in the store Boots, and decided to read through some of the selling labels to see if I could prove my point.
Not that I had to look far. Glamour girls flirted with the customers via photo, with swirly, bold writing next to the image of extra long eyelashes giving the fake modest look, or those extra huge lips coloured far redder than ever God painted them.

Take a look at some of these catch phrases used to sell the makeup products.
If you buy one kind of foundation, you end up with flawless skin!
This brand of nail polish gives you sensational nails.
Oooh, look what this mascara gives you - glam eyes, and your lashes get sexy curves. The whole line for one brand read, "Unique triple plump blush for sexy voluptuous volume."
This eye definer exaggerates!
Use this face powder for a soft sexy glow.
Brands of lipstick are Diamond Girl, Hollywood and I Like Boys.

On one of the stands, they had some of the words stand out by putting them on computer-generated ripped pieces of notepaper. "Wild" "glamourous," "glitters," "super-sexy," "bold," "classic," "define," "glitz," "glamour," "sparkly," "stylish," "moody," "pout-perfect".

Not something that you'd notice on a hurried dash to the shop looking for foundation before you race out to a meeting, but it's there. It's small, it's clear, and the message it's sending is unmistakable.
The elusive dream girl, just around the next corner - if you buy this. The will-o'-the-wisp, getting all the attention your heart desires - if you bow down and worship.

Satan creates a circular reasoning pattern that it's very easy to fall into. Humans have an almost unrecognised craving to be something more. Myself, I think it's a remnant of Eden - whether still the sin nature "you shall be as gods", or whether it's a true, real hunger to find the missing perfection we once had, distorted by sin, I can't say.
But only God can fulfill.

Looking in the mirror and dabbing makeup on your face, you leave with one anxious look back - do I look okay?
And there is NOTHING you can do to make that better.
Looking in the Word of God and searching your heart, you leave with one hopeful thought - how can I make myself more open to the will of God?
And there is NOTHING you can do to change yourself there, either - but being willing to allow the Spirit of God to work in your life, and to change what He shows you to change - that makes all the difference.

Then you will find satisfaction. Then, you will find peace.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Make me close to God in all!"

Pasta Tuna Bake

I should've put "can cook" on my advertisement for a Yankee husband on OYAN. :P :D

This post is mainly for my little sister Darla and my little brother Brandy.

I made this for dinner for Mom, Dad and myself today. It was scrumptious, creamy, tasty, chewy, slippery, smothery, colourful, fishy, and lip-smackingly lovely.


For your eyes' delectation and delight:

Pasta Tuna Bake

My Sweets Bag

Yesterday, I posted this on Buzz.

OYANers, forgive me... *hangs head in shame*

I just spent £4.18 on a bag of sweets....

No, seriously, it wasn't my fault. The price wasn't listed clearly, and by the time we got to the checkout, they were jumbled and we had to buy them...we were all in hysteria so it was good for a laugh...but this is my last bag of sweets for a long, long time. If ever.
I'm irresponsible, airy headed and daft, but I'm rarely if ever irresponsible with my money - something God taught me in a family nearly always tight for money.
So forgive me this once....I won't ever do it again...and yes they do taste good...and yes Dad keeps teasing me...and yes I'm sitting here chewing a jelly snake...

*slinks away in humiliation*

I promised photographs of the bag and the sweets... *coughs and wriggles away from the post button*

I did want some sweeties...I haven't had some in years, only once since the sweet shop shut when I was eight/nine...*sniffle* They looked SO GOOD...and they taste SO YUMMY.
*little girl eyes*

I used a little girl voice and that's partly why I got them...the other reason, I'm not disclosing. :)

Saturday, February 19, 2011

A Break-Up

This following chat was used by permission. The first block text from my cadet "Lee" is a text from his girlfriend. Both of these are real-life 'adopted' siblings and fellow cadets.

(6:24:26 PM) Sian Jones: Lee? *gently*

(6:28:36 PM) Lee: "Lee I have been thinking an awful lot about my life and I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship long term I am so sorry I will always love you but I am not ready I have a lot of things going on in my life and I can’t juggle school, family life, course work and a relationship all at the same time. I don’t want it to end but I’m not ready for anything yet. can we be good friends please I don’t want to do this but I am thinking of my future I am so sorry it’s not you it’s me I promise I’m not just saying it but I need some time to think xxx I know I am probably hurting you right now and I’m sorry for all the pain I’m causing you and its hurting me to balance everything right now xxx I’m sorry xxxx don’t be sad don’t hurt yourself over it I’m sure in the future we can be together again but not right now I need to sort out my life I am so sorry xxxx I really am xxxx I hope you understand x ily

(6:29:48 PM) Sian Jones: Lee...
(6:29:53 PM) Sian Jones: *hugs tight, thinking*
(6:30:04 PM) Sian Jones: She's doing something that's best, for both of you...
(6:30:07 PM) Sian Jones: Are you listening to me?
(6:30:10 PM) Sian Jones: I need you to.

(6:30:14 PM) Lee: yeah

(6:30:37 PM) Sian Jones: What happens now....proves whether your love for each other is going to last in the future.
(6:31:03 PM) Sian Jones: Your choosing to love her now....will cost you something in pain, in time, in tears, but it will help you grow up inside.
(6:31:15 PM) Sian Jones: Maturity always comes at the cost of pain.
(6:31:27 PM) Sian Jones: I know you can't see past that you've loved and lost right now...
(6:32:00 PM) Sian Jones: But if you carry on loving her, and you don't let it hurt will be becoming the man you're meant to be, Lee.
(6:32:11 PM) Sian Jones: It's going to hurt, but I mean, don't let it scar.
(6:32:15 PM) Sian Jones: Don't become bitter over it.
(6:32:48 PM) Sian Jones: If you carry on in spite of the pain, and if you wait and hope...then your love will be something worth having, Lee.
(6:32:53 PM) Sian Jones: Because you KNOW it will last.
(6:33:20 PM) Sian Jones: You'll want to give in. You'll want to forget it. You'll want to turn to the next pretty girl who bats her eyelashes and makes you feel wanted.
(6:33:51 PM) Sian Jones: Real love isn't worth that, ignores the pretty girl who makes you feel loved for the sake of the one you know is worth your pain.
(6:33:58 PM) Sian Jones: Does that make sense, Lee?
(6:34:02 PM) Sian Jones: I mean it.

(6:34:30 PM) Lee: yeah

(6:35:00 PM) Sian Jones: Are you listening, Lee?? Really, truly listening? Or are you just agreeing with me.

(6:35:11 PM) Lee: yeah I’m listening

(6:35:35 PM) Sian Jones: Good. Are you going to try, or are you going to give it up for the next girlfriend to make you feel better?

(6:36:54 PM) Lee: I wouldn’t go for just any girl Siân

(6:37:11 PM) Sian Jones: I know you wouldn't.
(6:37:26 PM) Sian Jones: But do you think Beth’s worth waiting for - _for the rest of your life_?

(6:37:40 PM) Lee: yes I do

(6:38:32 PM) Sian Jones: Good. *hugs tight*

(6:38:38 PM) Lee: :'(

(6:38:44 PM) Sian Jones: *holds, rocking*
(6:38:51 PM) Sian Jones: I'm sorry I can't be there for you now.
(6:39:03 PM) Sian Jones: Lee, I'm here for you whenever you need me. Okay?
(6:39:07 PM) Sian Jones: Just remember that.

(6:39:17 PM) Lee: thanks :')

(6:39:56 PM) Sian Jones: *ruffles hair*
(6:40:00 PM) Sian Jones: Love you, little brother. :)

(6:40:15 PM) Lee: :)
(6:41:09 PM) Lee: I love you too, big sister.
(6:51:28 PM) Lee: all Beth wants is for me to move on but I don’t want to.

(6:53:02 PM) Sian Jones: Move on, but don't stop loving.
(6:53:17 PM) Sian Jones: Carry on with your life, but with the hope that there will be a future.
(6:54:14 PM) Sian Jones: Cry for a while, and then carry on. But keep loving Beth and don't let anyone sway you, if you're sure.

(6:54:47 PM) Lee: but how do I move on?

(6:59:28 PM) Sian Jones: By continuing to love your life the way you were living it before, by maturing and not letting this scar you and make you bitter, by choosing to love her and wait for her, by becoming a man worthy of her.

(7:01:19 PM) Lee: I’ll try

(7:08:48 PM) Sian Jones: *hugs*
(7:08:54 PM) Sian Jones: I'm sorry I can't help you any more, Lee...
(7:09:06 PM) Sian Jones: I've been through the same kind of pain with an old ex-sergeant.
(7:09:10 PM) Sian Jones: I do, truly, understand.

(7:10:02 PM) Lee: ok thanks for all your help Siân :)

(7:11:44 PM) Sian Jones: I wish I could've been more, Lee.
(7:12:00 PM) Sian Jones: As a sister and friend - love you.
(7:12:02 PM) Sian Jones: *hugs*
(7:12:12 PM) Sian Jones: I pray your heart will heal with no scars.

(7:12:41 PM) Lee: thank you Siân :')

(7:13:09 PM) Sian Jones: *hugs tight* I'm always here for you. Don't you ever forget that.

(7:13:27 PM) Lee: I won’t

What I intend to give out by sharing this post is that it is possible to carry on maturely. I've been the immature way. Now I want to go God's way. And I want other people to go the same.

I wish I could point Lee to the Source of all Comfort, but he is not born again. Please join me in prayer for him and for Beth.

In Christ,

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Thankfulness 3~ Being Short

One of the things I hate most in life is being short. A "midget", as my ex-cadet sergeant teased me once.

Thinking about it, I think that any situation that I dislike, I will create a post about and blog ten things to be thankful for.

Jay and Carissa, I will never be able to thank you enough for outlook on life is brightening amazingly. The cure for almost every soul ill must be thankfulness.

#51 Exercise for my neck. I look up at taller people and down at shorter ones.

#52 Being taller than my Mom, my nephews and my niece. Ignoring their respective ages. :P

#53 Easier to find a guy. *nodnod* Most of 'em are taller. :P

#54 You learn to practice your sewing skills. To take up long clothes and let down shorter ones.

#55 More things fit you.

#56 You fit easier into someone's arms for a hug. Ignoring that I choke Mike when my shoulder goes into his Adam's apple when he bends down for a hug... :P

#57 You blend easier into a crowd.

#58 It's easier to reach the ground.

#59 Everyone taller feels protective of you.

#60 It's easier to duck away if you play a prank on someone taller. :D

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

My Web Address


Apparently my web address needs some explaining. Why do I have my blog title as "Cadet for Christ ~ Running the Course" and my address as an apparently random ""?

To explain.

JJ are my pseudonym initals - Jane Johnson.

W stands for writings.

ATC is the branch of my organisation - the Air Training Corps.

1290 is the Squadron I then desperately wished to join - Wednesfield.

So in short - Jane Johnson's writing; Air Training Corps (Squadron) 1290.

Random to thee, but not unto me! Hope this has explained. ;)


Monday, February 14, 2011


I would like to introduce you to Countess Drakuline.

We hear so much of Count Drakula in all forms of book writing, but never of his good dame.

Here she is.

Please, have as good a laugh as I did! ;)

God is Good

This blog post marks my 101st post. I am grateful to God for allowing me to create this blog, for the friends that have helped me with it along the way, for my 21 followers and faithful encouragers and supporters, and for those others who do not follow me on here, but read it on Buzz and through Twitter.

Today's thankful list.

#41 Cars so we can cover distance more quickly.

#42 God's Holy Word, a source of inspiration and encouragement to our lives

#43 Breakfast

#44 Pork pies!

#45 My collection of old Dickens books that my brother bought me on holiday last year. I have a bagful.

#46 For the many, many clothes I've been blessed with

#47 Tissues!

#48 That I'm alive today

#49 All of my many books

#50 10 hours of sleep


Sunday, February 13, 2011

A Little Girl of Eighteen/Actively Waiting

Yes, I'm eighteen. Yes, I'm nineteen in five short months, near enough four now.

I'm writing this blog post for myself, so if you don't like me writing for me, switch your screen down right now. *cheerful grin*

I love inventing my own fashions. No, I don't like walking around in skin tight leggings with boots that look as weird as did those old fashions when the toes were curled up to the knee. No, I don't like wearing thick makeup that completely obscures my face or having hair that hangs in my face. I strongly dislike tops that are extremely low cut and/or reach up to show the midriff.

I'm sitting here right now in a tight sky blue (with white polka-dots) vest top with spaghetti straps given me today as a late Christmas present by my Auntie, with a mint green blouse thrown over the top for modesty's sake. My hair is pulled back off my forehead with metal combs elasticated together with bright blue beads; an ankle length sapphire skirt to complete. But being me, I'm not complete until I've placed three vivid blue cocktail parasols upright in my hair. Believe me, I look quite a sight. :D

That's not the end of it. I'm actually sitting here cuddling a massive 12 inch stuffed puppy named Harry Hound that my uncle Robert bought me for Christmas. It's funny, during the kiddie years, you get soft toys and clothes. Early teens, you get smellies and fashionable clothes. Late teens, when you're definitely NOT normal and people don't know what to buy you, they resort to the cuddly toys again! :D I'm not complaining!

Harry will be coming with me to the States as he has his own passport attached to his ear. He snuggles right onto my lap, his paws fitting nicely around my sides and his nose under my chin, hugging my front with soft warmth. I can hardly put him down at the minute. He's making me feel really loved. :P :)

At a time of life when everyone my age is off to college every day, going down the nightclubs, partying and drinking til dawn, sleeping around with multiple guys and here and there have one or two kids, I'm at home all day, almost every day. My lifestyle consists of occasional church attendence, working twice a week to clean my sister's friend's house, helping out with my niece when needed, leeching money off my parents and spending a lot of time trying to help my friends on the computer. (And burdening others excessively. Bad me. :P)

Most people think I'm wasting my life, and sometimes I think so too. I confess, the past year I HAVE been pretty much wasting it - that's why I'm going to study sign language, take a permanent job and get involved with a choir or something.

You know what? I don't like the way my life's looking either. I was wasting it and didn't feel any compunction before. Now I'm actively wasting it. I'm not doing anything that I want to. I wanted a life of adventure and excitement, which was why I planned to join the Air Force, and right now I'm tamely sitting around doing normal stuff. But you know something? I don't think I'm going to spend the rest of my life doing this. Something inside is stirring, telling me that God might have me on preparing standby, but there's something more to come. That even though I don't deserve it, never have done and never will, that He will use me yet. No, I don't think I'm to spend the rest of my life actively waiting, but even if I do, and that's His will, then that is where I will learn to be content to be. Resting in His Will, even when it appears to be the most boring of existences, is the only place that you can find true contentment.

And don't forget. Living with God in your life is NEVER boring! :D

Music ~ Part I

A while ago, I buzzed a comment asking what people would like me to blog on next. Out of three people, two asked for a blog on music. The third asked for a hole-pick in musicals - something which, although I love them, I am looking forward to doing.

To start with, I'm going to cover my MP3 in several blog posts. :D That might give you a kind of idea of what I listen to. I also may post links of songs that are special for me, and/or the lyrics that make that particular song stand out.

I'm expecting participation in my Buzz and my comments on here, since you asked for this! :D

To start with, I'm a weird person, and my ranges, like my moods, are wild, weird and wonderful. Ie, varied.

I'm not going to go through and tell you every button on my MP3, because listing "Record Now", "Now Playing", "Music", "Genre", isn't anything to do with it. Go on, thought I was being blonde. :P

And no, dear politically correct people, that was not a slam at blondes. I'm partially blonde underneath the red.

So! Here I sit with my MP3 in front of me. My file names are:

Play All (Yes, I HAD to put that in.)
50 Golden Hymns
Buddy Davis (I have two folders, but that's because Dad spelled his name wrong. :P)
Evie (Tornquist-Karlsson)
Judy Rogers
Keith Green
Kids Collection
Michael Card
Michael Card & John Michael Talbot
Various Artists (That will be your most interesting one!)
Tenth Avenue North
Relient K
Casting Crowns (My MP3 doubled a file up and I can't delete it.)
Julie Andrews (Containing nothing of hers.)
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (Which OUGHT to go in my musicals folder, yes, I know.)
Cliff Richard
Other CCM
Hymns & Songs
Kyle J-Andrew Beals

*laughs* I hope you're looking forward to this!

Thankfulness 2

I woke up this morning.

1 - Early.
2 - With a blocked nose.
3 - With a raw throat and chest.
4 - I could barely talk.
5 - I had to climb out of my cosy bed into a pullover and jeans to clean out the chickens.

I started to get ready and thought - I need to think of something to be thankful for in all this. Because all I want to do is list what I'm NOT grateful for!

So I'm writing today's to ensure I stay thankful. :D

31# Modest blouses.

32# The song, "Just the Way You Are"

33# My twin brother snoring in the next room. It means he's home for another two days.

34# Kyle

35# £25 in notes on my desk

36# An MP3 hand-held speaker. I can sneak it up to bed. :D

37# Fake parasols that I wear in my hair

38# Mascara to hide my blonde lashes

39# Kiehl

40# Brandyce

Ayanna Priscilla

Some of you might like to see an update of my beautiful little niece...

Here she is at the age of three months!

She can:

Gurgle baby coos,
Support her own head (was doing that at two weeks),
Roll over,
Attempt to sit up alone,
Attempt to stand up.

My twin brother Jose and I, with Ayanna in the mirror. The photos to the left are Jose and I as children. :)

Ayanna and me, again in the mirror.

Ayanna, her Mom - my sister Sam - and me. :D

A little blurred, but Ayanna smiling. :D

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Submitting Your Waiting

Have you ever felt like the world may be about to turn upside down? That even though you'd prayed and submitted to God that you'd wait and seek His will, that even though you claimed to have no idea of your future, that you'd formed a vague, distinct shadow of it and when the world threatens to cave in on it, you STILL want to freak out?

Meh. One of the hardest times of trusting God is then. And if you don't see that you've created that shadow, well, that makes the resubmitting of it to His guiding Hand so much the harder.

We humans have the most awful tendency to like constancy, even when we profess that we love adventure with our hand in God's. (Five fingers pointing back.) Living with God IS an adventure. A complete adventure, when you're living submitted to His will and in the light of His presence. I knew that long ago - I know it again. But every time, God still has to break down that wall of fear as I stand back shrieking, "NO I CAN'T DO THIS TAKE IT AWAY I WANT WHAT I KNOW!" And yet, despite the difficulties and pain, how boring life would be if we just sat at home and lived our normal lives and were not ALIVE in God. Even when it seems like life is still around us, Spiritual life never is.

It is not in the quiet lake or the still pond that the rough stones are polished. No, that's where the scum gathers on the surface or the water becomes stagnant.

It's in the waterfall, where the waters are the purest and sweetest. It's in the waterfall that the stones are roughed, tumbled, smashed against each other, worn away by the power of the force of liquid.

It's not in the quiet little country village, with the small cottage, the pleasant fields, the once or twice a week journey to the steadfast little chapel on the corner.

It's in the rough and tumble of life, never knowing where His next step will lead you. It's when in the middle of the severest pain and the uncertainty of knowing, that you cry out and He takes you that next step in the dark.

My friends, why don't we see that life is ours for the taking? Trust God. Lean on God. He will give you a life in Himself far beyond your wildest dreams.

I laugh now at people who say Christianity is a crutch. It's not a crutch. It's a life support. When you're on the floor in your lowest heap, when you finally admit there's nowhere you can go, when you are completely nothing and worth nothing, it's then that He stoops besides you and raises you to fly again.

It's then that He whispers in your ear, "Trust Me, and I will bring it to pass."


Wednesday, February 09, 2011


I am sure I'm going crazy. Right now, my wild mood is on me. To replace the fact that I can't go anywhere, my fingers are typing as fast as possible to ease the tension. I wrote a poem, too, that I'm not going to publish, and thankfully that has eased it a little.

It's that horribly wonderful time when I have an almost uncontrollable urge to fling open the door and run down the street and not stop until I find some howling wind or some dashing waves to slap against my face and make me stagger with cooling power or to spray my face and fill my ears with mighty roaring.

I hate it at 9pm! I hate it in the middle of Walsall with nowhere to go! I hate feeling this way, shaking like this, and I can't go crazy! Why does life have to be such a pretense of formality!!

I'm restless and wild and I can't stay still! I want to run anywhere instead of sitting here letting my fingers do the running for me!

I'm shaking right now. I long to run somewhere, anywhere, nowhere, wild and free!! Come with me!

A Different Girl

I was showing one of my brothers some photos the other day. He passed comment on one, saying how much younger I looked - I was 16, almost 17. I replied, "That was before Andy and the bad websites." He said, "Ah, that makes sense."

It lead to a curiosity - how much have I changed, going through the past twelve months? I saw my own face harden and start to soften again...

Watch my eyes in the next few minutes, and tell me. Have I changed?

When going through some trouble at the Squadron, before anything - and I - changed. Roughly August/September '09.

Given my heart away:

Andy, cadet Stephen C and I:

My twin brother and I, the same day:

February, three months after Andy left and one month before I saw him again for the last time:

Then cadet Lucy T. and I, when we were friends:

At the Bower Parade:

During and after the websites:

During - June 26th. I got involved a few days before my 18th birthday.

When I was nearing the end of my involvement:

By the way, my photo on my blog Poema was taken around this time.

The start of a long process change; there were severe friendship issues, another two bad relationships and cutting instances to go through yet:

The here and now (yeah, that's me. Lol :P):

Am I different? And can I change again? I pray so.


As God has been working on me and things are changing in my life, as I start my last two years of being an Air Cadet and intend on missing a good section of that for the States, and as I do not blog that much about cadets, I have been considering whether to revamp my blog.

I admit, I am proud of my identity as a cadet corporal. I still support our Armed Forces and will do so in any way I can.

However, since the Boss left, I have grown away from 196, and I think I only still go for the sake of the past. I have no future with either the cadets or the Armed Forces - a fact which, once admitted, will probably shake loose a lot of my followers from Twitter who put up with my Christianity and follow me as a sub-member of the Forces.

I am still a cadet for Christ, but the atmosphere is no longer untarnished - God knows whether it can ever become clean again, thanks to my stupidity with Cadet Rivers. I know God has forgiven me, but the fingers pointed and the sudden drop in language watch (minus blasphemy - they are still careful on that, thank God) are not pleasant, although a just reward.

I am still the Boss's cadet - a fact which also does not make me very welcome at 196. At 18.7 years, I'm too attached to the ways I learned when I was 15, 16, 17 to make the adjustments that keep changing. I'm also in constant contact with the Boss - which does not endear me to the CO or any of his loyal cadets.

The witness at the Squadron is faint, if at all. Yes, there are still good times on occasion, when the cadets or a cadet will start asking questions, but these are so rare I wonder if it is worth it.

As it is, I wonder if calling my blog "Cadet for Christ", while attracting multiple followers to my blog, is being honest.

And the description as "A Christian Air Cadet's history" that also honest?

No, I won't take the photo of the Boss and me down. No, I probably won't change my blue background.
But I would seriously, seriously, please, I'm begging, should I make over my blog or not?



I like the thing that my big brother, Jay Lauser, and big sister, Carissa Mann, do. So I'm going to do some of it. I started once via Buzz, but no one kicked me and I forgotted. Bad me.


So. A list of things to be thankful for. (At least I think it was thankful...or was it grateful? Hmm. Is there a difference? :P)

1# The glimmer of sunshine coming through my bedroom window

2# Nice fleecy clothes in a cold winter

3# The beautiful ruby-and-diamond (probably fake :P) ring on my finger, that I used as a purity/engagement ring. (So people take me for engaged.) I symbolise the red with love, and the clear/silvery/white as purity.

4# Glasses because I am shortsighted

5# For God's grace in saving me - and restoring me - three times

6# For the healing of my broken heart, which I thought would never happen

7# For the power, passion and beauty of prayer

8# Prayer walks with my dog around the streets

9# My doggie. I prayed for nine years for him.

10# God's grace, strength and patience to wait for His will. I'm SUCH an impatient person.

11# My uniform. Yes, I still love it.

12# My corporal's stripes. They're sooo pwetty. And they show that I was responsible.

13# God bringing the Boss into my life. He's an awesome person and a second dad to me.

14# My wondrous and amazing 80 + siblings, who God keeps adding to week by week.

15# God's beginning of the restoration of the relationship between my Mom and me through our present family difficulties and my starting to open about my future to her - although I still intend to keep the past year a blank, God willing.

16# My four best friends; Kyle, Nick, Kiehl and Taylor. This from a girl who decided that no WAY would she ever have more than one best friend.

17# God's wonderful way of making you eat your words and find humiliating glory in doing so.

18# His wonderful providence in not letting you live out the starved existence you plotted for yourself.

19# Hot steamy showers after cleaning out smelly, mucky animals. :D

20# That God has actually given me a chance to wait. Something I never thought would happen...I can and do cry over that. :)

21# My very own laptop! I wanted one for two/three years, and God provided me with an old one. It accidently got smashed, and then He gave me a brand new one off the insurance!

22# My very own bed. I love the way a mattress gets to know you and your comfy positions! :D

23# My very own MP3 player, and the way God gave it to me. My brother had one, I didn't. I had a tape Walkman. His broke, Mom and Dad bought him a replacement - and then the company decided to replace it too. I got the extra. :D

24# The way you can download YouTube songs, convert them to MP3 Audio and then burn them off to a CD or put them on your MP3 in a matter of less than 10 minutes.

25# God

26# My beautiful baby niece. The sweetest little girl on earth, til I get my own. :P

27# Being a girl. This from a girl who hated her female limitations and saw it as a curse rather than a blessing. My "free and fiery" spirit still kicks against it at times, but there's other ways for that to soar. :P

28# Feminine charms. :D Yes, that sounds odd, but when you're begging a brother to do something and use pleading big blue puppy eyes, it's very handy. :D

29# My time and experience in the Air Cadets. It's grown me, humbled me and been used for good and ill.

30# The second hand that ticks away another moment of my earthly life. One step closer to being with Him!

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Actors in Westerns

Andrew B.: Who is your favorite actor in westerns?

Me: Wellllll.

I only know John Wayne is pretty popular in them.

I've now seen Steve McQueen, Yul Brynner, Charles Bronson, James Coburn, Burt Lancaster, Kirk Douglas and Eli Wallach.

Considering that for those, three of them I associate with The Great Escape, one with The King and I, one with Zulu Dawn and one with Spartacus, I'm not really sure. :P

My favourite kind of actor is someone like Sir Alec Guinness or Sir Ben Kingsley. (Yes, I know I'm a raving Olivier fan, but I still don't think he's the creme de la creme.) And the reason for that is that it's someone who can so change with their part that if it wasn't for a certain feature in or of their face, you can't recognise them.

Richard Harris is always distinguishable by his voice. Olivier by his face. I'm not saying they're bad actors. Just that the best ones are those who change completely with their part.

And John Wayne doesn't do that. So....I've yet to make up my mind, to answer your question. :P

Monday, February 07, 2011

What is Love To You?

Even before I start, I know I will not express this clearly enough, or be able to tell everything that means love to me.

But perhaps, the main point of this post is more of the subject line. What is love - to you? Think about it.

God, becoming Man. Laying aside the majesty, power and glory, all of the advantages of His being God, to take on the dust form of His creation. To become the lowliest of men, out of sheer love. To save those from the despised walks of life.

A man who puts aside comforts, advantages for himself, to honour another. To stoop to someone from the darker side of life, when he could choose someone better.

This is love to me.

What is love to you?

God, Himself hurting for our pain, causing momentary, though strong (and maybe in earthly time, lasting for a long time) pain for our future good. Staying with us through it, holding us, sticking with us even though we lash out at Him for the pain. Even when we bring it on ourselves.

A man who, although hurt by hurting, causes necessary pain for a time for future good - sensitive but firm. Staying with you through the pain, even though you lash out and try to kick them away.

This is love to me.

What is love to you?

God, spending time with us in His Word, hearing our every thought, our every cry, our every prayer.

A man who takes time out of his busy life to listen to tears and hurts, to comfort and encourage.

This is love to me.

What is love to you?

God, loving us even when we are most unlovely, most unloving and are shutting Him out.

A man who loves even when you are most unlovely, most unloving and are shutting him out.

This is love to me.

What is love to you?

God, putting the needs of His creation above every thought of Himself. (Philippians 2:5-8)

A man who puts your needs above every thought of himself.

This is love to me.

What is love to you?

God, giving up all to heal our hearts.

A man who puts aside every thought of himself to heal your heart.

This is love to me.

What is love to you?

God's perfect love.

Man's imperfect but God-based love.

Both are incomprehensible to me. I've never known love like this before. It's something that sends me staggering and dumb with surprise.
I don't want mush any more. I've seen real food, and laugh in amazement at the fake the world offers, that so, so many Christians - and I - believe.
Did it really take so much to make me see it? Why couldn't I see it before?

All I've seen of God's love in churches with pastors is a little man standing as a figure between the congregation and God. It took leaving that kind of church to recognise a one on one relationship with God and me.

How can I doubt that a man can love me just as I am, for who I am? How can I not see that I am special?

Easy, when you get taught that God so loved the world. And you all have to love one another. But even though you know and believe that you need a one-on-one relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, it is hard to believe that if you were the only sinner in the world, that He would die just for you.

If you can't believe that you're anything special, if all your life you have been, though not physically, but mentally induced to believe you're just another person, and a rather annoying, useless one at that - then that could explain why you find it so hard to believe in God's love for you - and that any man - or woman - could love you too.

I heard it said once before, that the model is love from a man to a woman, and respect from a woman to a man - although of course, the man needs to respect the woman to some degree, and the woman to love the man.

I didn't agree.

Thinking on my past experience loving my cadet sergeant, yes. I agree now. Loving where there is nothing/almost nothing in a man to respect is misery. And (talking brotherly sense :P ) when one of my guy friends puts me above himself, without making it obvious, boy do my respect levels go up.

I want to say thank you to all of you guys who do that. I want to remind you ladies of what true love is, and I want you all to think about it.

Ephesians 5:22-32

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.

But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.

So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body.


This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.

1 John 4:7-21

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.

The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him.

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.

By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit.

We have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son to be the Savior of the world.

Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.

We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.

We love, because He first loved us.

If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.

And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.

This is love. God loves. And even in the pain, the storm of life, the confusion of life, He is there. He is not the cause. He is the Comfort, the Help, the Support.

Song of Gomer

New favourite, by Michael Card.

Unfortunately, I can't find a video anywhere of him singing this, so I'll just post the lyrics. :)

Hope it blesses you too!

Song of Gomer

Don’t know what He sees in me, he is spirit, he is free
And I, the wife of adultery, Gomer is my name
Simply more than I can see how he keeps on forgiving me
How he keeps his sanity; Hosea, you’re a fool


A fool to love someone like me, a fool to suffer silently
But sometimes through your eyes I see, I’d rather be a fool.

The fondness of a father, the passion of a child
The tenderness of a loving friend, an understanding smile
All of this and so much more you’ve lavished on a faithless whore
I’ve never known love like this before; Hosea, you’re a fool


This God of yours would not have told
To lift a love that you couldn’t hold
And though time and time again I flee
I’m always glad to see you coming after me

Simply more than I can see, how he keeps on forgiving me
The wife of adultery, and Gomer is my name.

Sunday, February 06, 2011

A State of Action or Be-tion?

Yes, I know it isn't a word. Ah well, who cares.

Last night, I was on the receiving end of this truthful observation of a close friend of mine.

"You're being kinda silly tonight."

It lead to a serious of complicated thoughts.

Was I being kinda silly, or was I acting kinda silly? Because being is one thing, and acting is another. Being implies a state of being, acting invokes a state of action. Of course, I could be acting a being, but could I be being an action? I guess action could be a state of being, and yet, is being a state of action? It could be an be-tion or an action, but was I actioning or be-tioning? This is as far as my thoughts took me before I got muddled.

~From the definitive silliness of

Yours truly.

Saturday, February 05, 2011

Relationships Chat

Some of you might find this is a chat on relationships I had with one of my close friends.

What really amazed me is that there's no way that I could've phrased all that myself. I think God was showing me a few things as He spoke through me.

Hope this blesses someone in some way.

(11:24:15 PM) Rich: I learned that her mom things a break would be a good thing for the both of us
(11:24:33 PM) Rich: That she thinks Danielle is distracting me from my life at college
(11:24:46 PM) Sian Jones: ...
(11:25:48 PM) Rich: I...
(11:25:56 PM) Rich: I can't handle that...
(11:26:12 PM) Rich: I'm depressed already because Danielle's gone for a weekend
(11:26:22 PM) Rich: If she was gone longer...
(11:26:26 PM) Sian Jones: *softly*
(11:26:37 PM) Sian Jones: You learn that there are times that you need to be apart.
(11:26:45 PM) Rich: But a break?
(11:26:49 PM) Rich: *voice cracks*
(11:26:50 PM) Sian Jones: Especially if you're going to spend the rest of your lives together.
(11:27:04 PM) Sian Jones: A break isn't a BREAK, but just time off.
(11:27:05 PM) Rich: Her mom means more than a weekend
(11:27:14 PM) Sian Jones: About a week or so.
(11:27:20 PM) Rich: Or longer
(11:27:28 PM) Rich: Maybe she never really approved of me
(11:27:28 PM) Sian Jones: Can I...suggest something?
(11:27:30 PM) Rich: What?
(11:27:33 PM) Sian Jones: Yes, she did.
(11:27:41 PM) Sian Jones: You have the rest of your lives.
(11:28:02 PM) Sian Jones: Try figuring out a break time between the two of you.
(11:28:11 PM) Sian Jones: Like, two days off every three weeks.
(11:28:35 PM) Sian Jones: Or something like that that Danielle can take to her Mom to show her that the two of you are dealing with it responsibly and maturely.
(11:29:13 PM) Rich: ...She might get mad at me, Danielle
(11:29:18 PM) Rich: Danielle might
(11:29:23 PM) Rich: *cant type*
(11:29:33 PM) Rich: Too tired...
(11:29:35 PM) Rich: Anyways
(11:29:42 PM) Rich: Danielle might get mad
(11:29:47 PM) Rich: Or hurt
(11:29:52 PM) Rich: If I suggest that
(11:30:11 PM) Rich: Why would a break show we're handling it maturely and responsibly?
(11:30:42 PM) Sian Jones: No, not if you take the man's stand. You've got to lead this relationship, not give in to her all the time. I know you adore the ground she walks on.
(11:30:44 PM) Sian Jones: So does she.
(11:30:49 PM) Sian Jones: And she'll play off that.
(11:31:26 PM) Sian Jones: I'm not saying don't.
(11:31:32 PM) Sian Jones: I'm saying make it less obvious.
(11:31:41 PM) Sian Jones: And a break would show that because...
(11:31:42 PM) Sian Jones: *sighs*
(11:31:45 PM) Sian Jones: I'll be blunt.
(11:32:09 PM) Sian Jones: What you're doing is hitting into the romance side too soon. Wanting to spend time together with no one else around interrupting.
(11:32:24 PM) Sian Jones: Talking about everything, kissing, holding.
(11:32:31 PM) Sian Jones: You don't want to be apart.
(11:33:33 PM) Sian Jones: Thing is...
(11:33:44 PM) Sian Jones: While you're in your single years....
(11:33:56 PM) Sian Jones: You've recognised that you have affection for each other.
(11:34:36 PM) Sian Jones: Organising a break not only shows to the adults that you aren't children playing at love, but you both love each other deeply and constantly enough to wait until you're back together.
(11:34:53 PM) Sian Jones: There's time enough in the future for the closeness you want.
(11:35:45 PM) Sian Jones: don't realise it or want to...or feel it...right now, but your love and happiness at being together in the end is going to be so much the greater for having waited and kept checks on yourselves.
(11:35:50 PM) Sian Jones: And there's something else...
(11:36:22 PM) Sian Jones: With your closeness now, you're blocking off other friendships. You don't think you are, you think you're still talking to people. But...both appearing offline to talk to each other, maybe?
(11:36:52 PM) Sian Jones: You need to develop your other friendships, because you will regret it for the rest of your life if in your difficult times you have no one to turn to.
(11:36:59 PM) Sian Jones: And I'm not talking about me or Natalie.
(11:37:06 PM) Sian Jones: Rephrase.
(11:37:10 PM) Sian Jones: I'm not talking about me.
(11:37:26 PM) Sian Jones: And that's all the advice I can give.
(11:37:31 PM) Sian Jones: Wow, I filled the screen. O.o
(11:37:49 PM) Rich: its okay :)
(11:38:23 PM) Rich: You've given me a lot to think about
(11:38:39 PM) Rich: I can see what you mean
(11:39:17 PM) Rich: I'll...I'll talk to her
(11:39:31 PM) Sian Jones: Good.
(11:39:35 PM) Sian Jones: *holds close*
(11:39:44 PM) Rich: is scared to do it though*
(11:39:50 PM) Sian Jones: I'm here for you if you need me.

*Used by permission

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

I'm Waiting on You, Lord.

Two of my closest girl friends have to be Kiehl G. and Lindi/Anjel C. God has blessed me so richly with and through their friendships. Both encourage when times are hard, speaking truth even when they know it hurts them and me. And the support they've given through the last several years has been incredible. I pray God will bless them both richly and shine their candles out in a blaze to the world.

Yesterday, Lindi (as those of you from OYAN will remember her) sent me this song. I heard it once before - it's used in the film "Fireproof". I liked it then, but forgot it. Lindi, it has blessed me so much. It's been on repeat all morning. You blessing!

While I'm waiting. I will worship and serve You while I'm waiting.

Well, for starters, I'm going to go back to my emails and pick up contact with eight of my female friends. I'll decide whether to with my guy friends later on.

Mrs. S
Lydia DeW.
Hannah M

And two of my guy friends:

Robert K
Taylor W.

I'm going to take the dog on a prayer walk every day. And make one meal a day - attempt. (Mom doesn't like them all taken off her hands. :) ) And get involved with the craft stuff - bracelets and plates. No, I don't enjoy it. Who said it had to be an enjoyable service? Rawr. I know all this. Can some of you please, please remind me for a while to email these people and to do these things? I would be really and truly grateful. Thank you and God bless you all! <3 ~Jane~