Meet the Author's Author

Meet the Author's Author
Live for Jesus! That's what matters! That you see the light in me and come along! :)

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Pondering

Today has been a marked change for me. I'm unable to share the details with you as it is rather personal, but one day, one day I will be able to share the way God's worked in my life. It's...awe-some. The way He has lead me, in spite of the pain and the tears, will be so clear, that His love and mercy will blaze out. I pray that when I am free to do so, that you will be able to see it as clearly as I can, right now, feel it.

I have just come down from upstairs, where I went to pray for a friend. It ended up in a complete, soul searching, heart tearing experience, a prayer time of which I wish I could revel in the presence of God every day.

The outline of it is that after almost two years of fighting, I've given in to God. I'm not ready to take the step I've taken mentally and have yet to live out, but there's no way I can go back. I'll take it, God helping me. Because I know if I don't step out, then there is no way God can use me further. It involves the certainty of pain, without the promise of earthly hope, which is something that I'm absolutely terrified of. It also involves the disapproval of my family for the way God is leading me to go; but I know, I know God is in this and I _must follow even if the whole world laughs at me - and that also makes me afraid. God has ways of making us fight our giants.
The decision had two options; to stay in the place that I'm comfortable and familiar with, following reactions and paths I know and live over and over, or to step out in complete faith and react totally against my instincts, crucifying my will to His day in and day out.
You know, even if, as most likely will happen, this present pain ends up in more pain, it will be worth it. I wish I could tell you as clearly as I see it, but I know that until God brings you into that place in your life, you won't be able to experience the joy in the heavy weight of the cross.
It will force me to Him every day as I cope with sight, knowledge, pain, friendships - everything. I know that this place of blessing, even though I will scream under the pain at times, is one I wouldn't swap for the world.

Maybe there's a one line lesson.
God Hates Comfort Zones.

I love the analogy I heard off Paul Washer. Living in faith with God is living in the dark, with pitfalls all around you, and God taking your hand and telling you, "Step." We stand there and shriek, "NO! I can't do this. I don't want to do this! Give me any other way; let me stay here!" But the inexorable Voice persists, "Step." Eventually, we step. And we hit something solid. Ah, we're finally here. We take a deep breath. That wasn't so bad. We start to settle down. "Step." "But LORD! I just DID!" "Step again." And that is the way He leads us. That's the way of a true life of faith in Him - every step a step in the dark, lead by His hand and the light of the Lamp of His Word. Until you are blind, you can never truly see, but if you say you see, then the truth is not in you.

A song I've been listening to recently has a line of "Today all my dreams will come true." The first few days I heard it, I laughed when I sang it. As my life falls completely apart, it was nearly impossible not to. My dreams for my life were so different...
And the problem was that they were my dreams, not God's. When God's dreams are my dreams, then, today, if we are submitted to His will, they will come true.

So there IS joy in the weight of the cross. Life from death. Peace in the pain. Because it's the path that leads us to Christ, refines the gold, shapes the pot, forces the stubborn flesh to die and creates us in His likeness.

When you follow the will of God, no matter the price, the cost will be worth it. Look ahead and see Him. Look next to you, and see Him. Look all around you; His tender care is there. Count your blessings with your crosses. He won't leave you. He will give you as much strength as you need, and ways of escape with each temptation.

This is a little random, but I pray God will use it to speak to you and that it makes sense.

In Christ,
~Janie