Meet the Author's Author

Meet the Author's Author
Live for Jesus! That's what matters! That you see the light in me and come along! :)

Saturday, January 29, 2011


Waiting here, waiting for You, God,
With our hopes and fears we come.

~Tenth Avenue North, Lift Us Up To Fall

Ah me, I do love that band. A song that's appropriate for practically any situation.

Waiting, waiting. You all know me. I am not the most patient of people. And that is probably the understatement of the year. I'm bull headed and I bash my head up a door - any door - no matter how thin or thick, until I get an answer. And if it's not the answer I want? Well.

Why, at this time in my life, has God called me to wait upon Him? Over the next few weeks, a life changing decision over what I will do with my future will be made. Me being me, I want an answer RIGHT NOW. I mean, who wants to wait while it's happening? There's a great possibility of pain at the end, while, on the other, a possibility of more waiting.

I'm starting to realise that as I pray and seek God's Will over this, that NO MATTER WHAT the outcome is, that He's giving me a unique growing-and-learning experience in Him. He's teaching me to wait patiently for His answer, in His good time. And I know that His timing will be perfect, and His answer will be for the best.

No, there is no way on the planet that I'm looking forward to more pain. The last time, I had to cut out a great part of me, crush it, pulverise it, trample on it. It hasn't healed and probably, now, never will. And I'm not looking forward to a longer lesson in patience either - although I would prefer it far, far beyond the former. Infinitely more. But either way, this time, I know my trust is in God. I know my friends are upholding me in prayer. And I know that God is a very real and very close Reality to me right now.

Sure, I'm having an awful time waiting. Times when I sit there and cry. Times when I want to scream at the sky and stomp my foot and DEMAND to know the answer now to stop this awful anticipation. Times when I despair that God will do the best thing. Times when I think that no matter how hard I beg and plead that my dream comes true, even saying Thy Will be done, that His Will will be the total opposite of what I wish and that I will collapse at the end of it all.

But His love is over, It's underneath, It's inside, It's in between. (Times, Tenth Avenue North). And there is a very real sense of the Presence and the Love of God very close around me.

And even though I have conflicting emotions of hope, doubt, fear, despair, peace and joy, there is an underlying sense of consistent peace. I know God has His hand on this. On me. And that He controls me, my life, my future. Whatever that may be.

You're a child of the King,
The Creator of dreams.
And your faith is the key
Unlock the door and then you'll see.
He but speaks and it is done.
Soon the battle will be won.
He has a victory for you,
And He'll make sure your dreams come true.

He makes dreams out of nothing.

But only dreams that are given of Him. Father, no matter the outcome, I will praise You. You're my King, You're my God. Thy Will be done.

Pray for me.


Thursday, January 27, 2011

The Second Hymn

The next hymn reminds that no matter what happens at the end of the waiting period, Jesus doeth ALL things well.

All the Way My Saviour Leads Me; written by Frances Jane Crosby van Alstyne. The music is written by Robert Lowry (probably most famous for "Low in the Grave He Lay").

All the way my Savior leads me;
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my Guide?
Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
Here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well;
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.

All the way my Savior leads me,
Cheers each winding path I tread;
Gives me grace for every trial,
Feeds me with the living Bread.
Though my weary steps may falter,
And my soul athirst may be,
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see;
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see.

All the way my Savior leads me
O the fullness of His love!
Perfect rest to me is promised
In my Father’s house above.
When my spirit, clothed immortal,
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages—
Jesus led me all the way;
This my song through endless ages—
Jesus led me all the way.


Be Still, My Soul!

A few moments ago, I typed out the lyrics to this wonderful hymn on Google Buzz. Travelling over the internet to the site of Cyber Hymnal, I picked up the other two verses. At a time of waiting and seeking to know the will of God, this hymn and one other keep powerfully coming back to my heart.

Be Still, My Soul; written by Katharina von Schlegel and translated by Jane Borthwick. The tune is Finlandia - national anthem of Finland - written by Jean Sibelius.

The Scripture running across the screen of the Cyber Hymnal page reads this.

Be still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.


Saturday, January 15, 2011

I Could've Danced All Night!

We recently bought and watched the musical "My Fair Lady". Being the song lover - and the musical lover - that I am, I fell fast in love with the above mentioned song. Have nearly got it off pat already. ;) For those of you who have never heard it, here is the beauty of "I Could've Danced All Night", with the stunning Audrey Hepburn and the glorious voice dub of Marni Nixon.

Christmas Blessing


A time of peace and joy and family and loving and giving. A time to remember the cause of the celebration - the Lord Jesus, the God of all, becoming smaller than the full stop at the end of this sentence.

One of the things I love about Christmas is a childish anticipation that usually possesses me at the beginning of December, a gay* abandonment of spirit, excitement at the approach.

Second thing I love most is when one goes out on Christmas Day, with a smile on one's face...people walking past beam back at you and the happy greeting of "Merry Christmas!" is exchanged. For me, that symbolises a little the line, "peace on earth, goodwill to all men."

This year was one of the worst Christmases. We ran a high risk of not being able to get my brother home; my sister was living on our living room floor. Most of the days were spent trying to sort problems out and waiting hand and foot on Ayanna.

Out of our usual stock of mince pies, rum truffles and marzipan fruits, which are usually a Mom-and-kids occupation, Mom managed to complete the rum truffles on her own, and one day, when nearly everyone was out, I batched up some mince pies. Considering I'd never made them alone before and only had the recipe in memory, maybe I can be forgiven for making shortBREAD pastry mince pies, rather than shortCRUST! At least, everyone said they were way better than any they had tasted before. :)

Christmas Day approached and passed in hectic manner. We were able to fetch my brother home between snowstorms. Although our presents were considerably less than usual, I was quite glad for it meant that I have fewer to find places for - and they still represent the love and thought people have given to me. However, as I walked around the house that afternoon, I was acutely aware that something was missing. Somehow, this Christmas was like any other day, in spite of the fancy clothes, the presents, the big meal. Even the excitement of turning 18 and a half that day was lacking. It was like everything had come and gone too quickly. Somewhere, I'd missed the childish anticipation...and somehow, I felt cheated.

It took me until January 15th to realise what I had failed to see. It didn't matter how crowded and busy the house was. It didn't matter that I had only been able to get a few scattered pitiful presents for my family. It didn't matter that our lives were so hectic that we'd been barely been able to think and were rushed off our feet.

We were blessed. We were together. We were family. And...we had room in the inn. Being our daughter/sister and everything, we hadn't considered that, sleeping on our living room floor, was a homeless mother and child.

Like another mother and Child 2010 years ago, and in the name of that Child, we took them in. No, we didn't have the Christ Child incarnate visit us this Christmas.
But after all, perhaps we did.

"The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'" Matthew 25:40

I'm not meaning to sound stuck up or anything; it just struck me as awesome that God gave us a mother and child to care for over Christmas - the time we remember the mother and Child. I pray you had as blessed a Christmas as I did. :)

For a long time, I promised some of my Yanks to photo our Christmas decorations. Below is our neighbourhood in the snow, our decorations and a few of my Christmas presents. The ring I am using as my own kind of purity ring. The music is Evie Tornquist's "A Thousand Candles" and Relient K's "We Wish You a Merry Christmas".

May you have a truly blessed New Year!

*I am firmly defiant of the politically correct movement's attempt to hijack beautiful English words. This is used in its original, meaningful sense.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Poema ~ Jane Johnson: First Kiss

It's rare that I post a link from one blog to another. I prefer to keep them seperate so that my followers on one tend not to follow the other. However, I want to link this across as I would like all my followers to read it. :)

Poema ~ Jane Johnson: First Kiss: Do you know how easy it is to destroy every defence you built up for emotional purity? For two years after God delivered me from a foolish attachment I had got deeply emotionally involved with, I fought a battle for emotional purity. For over a year, I also fought a battle with a growing attraction to a young non-Christian cadet sergeant at my Squadron.

In October 2009, I learned that he was going to leave the Squadron. Suddenly. It had a shell-shock effect, because his father - our commanding officer - had been backbitten out, and it was a horrible mess. The six of us working to uphold the Squadron had become a very close knit bunch.

I spent a day with my uncle and aunt. They saw I was depressed and asked why. I told them. Then they attacked the entire principles I had founded my emotional purity on. They said there was nothing wrong with being boyfriend and girlfriend, nor with moderate kissing. I fought back - but weakly. And by the end of the day, I had caved in and admitted to myself and them that I loved him - not admitted, but let go of the barrier to let the floodtide of emotion loose.

You see - where in the Bible DOES it have clear cut guidelines? Where in the Bible DOES it say that you can't kiss a guy? All I could find were the lines on impurity and immoral behaviour - and a ban on sleeping around outside of marriage. In the next few days I wrote my first poem that is on this site - Searching For Answers.

Now, I am starting to see that there doesn't need to be definitive lines. Yes, I judged it as the laws of the Pharisees - law on law on law to protect the original law. But there are no laws. It is a matter of choice. And we have to choose to keep those boundaries up to support the heart of the matter.

Perhaps the difference becomes when it's forced and no longer a labour of love. Then it becomes Pharisaical.

Debating the other day with someone about saving your first kiss til you're at the altar, it suddenly struck me how precious the thing really is; following, I wrote this poem.

First Kiss

When you plant your lips on mine,
Thoughts will cease, and so will time.
I'll be lost in the wonder of your love;
Precious gift from God above.
I'll love you more than words can say,
When you kiss me on our wedding day.

All the wonder of Love Divine,
Is weakly reflected in yours and mine.
United together we shall be
To love and serve Him faithfully.
A blessing that seals, He has given us this -
Our first physical union at the altar - a kiss.