Meet the Author's Author

Meet the Author's Author
Live for Jesus! That's what matters! That you see the light in me and come along! :)

Monday, June 25, 2012

Whatever Is of God Is Love

(As most of you know, I'm in Overland Park, Kansas, staying with the Noe family for the One Year Adventure Novel - OYAN - Workshop 2012. Today, June 23, is the day after the workshop ended.)

Sarah Noe is wearing a very cool t-shirt. It has on the back "Live, Move, Be", and a Scripture reference in Acts. I likey.

I'm struggling to find words to say what's in my heart, so for right now, I'm just going to type out the little speech thingie I gave last night just before the final session ended.

I was shaking, writing this. I wrote it and struggled with words, and re-read to find out that it said a lot that struck the chords inside of me, but nothing that really seemed to say my deepest emotions. I debated backing out of reading it...and the only reason I wrote it was so I'd stand less chance of crying on stage.
I prayed God would bless it and that it would be used to bless, but it felt totally inadequate and I wasn't expecting Him to.

I know this sounds ridiculous coming from someone like me, but I'm absolutely terrified to be standing up here before you. In fact, if it hadn't been for Mig and Janae (BlizzardofFire and Sharpie) saying what they did before, I wouldn't have had the courage to do so. So thank you, guys, for that.

Most of you know me as bright, bubbly, random and happy. I'm pretty good at the superficial stuff, but what's really hard is to share what's in my heart - which as you all know is something writing does, for all of us.

So I'm asking your forgiveness if this sounds silly or like a pity party or something, cause I don't mean it that way.

My family life is not one of the best, and the only reason I'm saying that is so that it makes what I'm about to say a bit clearer.

I'm here at the Workshop this year not because of writing, dearly as I love it. I here because...of love. Because God loved me enough to provide, because people prayed. And that's the only reason I'm standing here today.

God's given me a desire and a burden to reach out and minister to people, just to love them, and I just want to thank you guys for giving me the opportunity to do that - especially my siblings, for letting me reach out to touch your hearts.

One of the things about having many friends is that it's hard, nearly impossible, to maintain close friendships.

And incredible as it sounds, I often feel terribly alone. It's hard to talk about the trust barriers, as God has removed and how He's teaching me that...that human friendships are important, yes, but He is more so, and by moving them away He's trying to clear my vision and heart to show me He is all I need.

At the same time, He provides comfort to remind me I'm not unloved, often in the strangest ways, and I'd really like to thank a lady, one of the parents, who overcame the usual distance people put between themselves and someone who's crying to pray with me this week, and my sibs, JJ, Gunnar and another one, I'm sorry I can't remember, for their little cheer for me yesterday.

(The three of them stood up in the cafeteria and yelled out 'Long live Queen Jane'.)

But why I'm really here is to thank six particular friends of mine who have this week loved me unconditionally through my barriers, held me while I wept, and prayed with me. You have touched my heart more than you could ever know.

Sarah Noe.
Laura Jenkins.
Erin Spragg.
Grace Garner.
Timothy Meigs.
Braden Russell.

And also Mrs Beals who prevented me by God's grace from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter on site. <3

I also want to thank Sarah Hahn (NarniaLover) and Kristin Dodd for letting me reach out to you, for reaching out to me and loving me in return.

And, thank you to Mr. and Mrs. S.... for being willing to be used of God and doing OYAN, which has turned out to do something I'm pretty sure they never imagined. You've given me an international family, love and home...I wish I could say everything in my heart, but it would never be enough.

Finally, I just want to say to you guys...writing touches lives. But it's no good if it doesn't touch yours first. Like you've heard already...let it change you. You need to live and experience to write. And if you don't love, then you haven't lived. Because love is what's brought me here. Love from and for you all.

I'm sorry this was awkward. Words from my heart always are. You guys are awesome. And valuable. All of you are totally valuable. I just want you to remember that.
Thank you. I love you. And God bless you.

During the second day, I was having trouble I did from the second day onwards, thinking of the end of OYAN and going back home...and I wrote a short script on love during my note taking on Professor Mark Wilson's (how dearly we love Mark ;)) seminar.

Love is one of the most delicate things in the world. A word can inspire it; a word can embarrass it; a word can destroy it.

Yet, love is one of the strongest things on earth. Inspired by the power of God, it can walk through fire and water, through pain and bitter opposition, through time and death.

Sometimes, the strongest things are the weakest. A cobweb is one of the strongest silks in creation. An ant can carry more than fifty times its own weight. A blind man on the side of the road is stronger than a rich young ruler.

God uses the weak things of the world to confound the wise.

He uses love to bind, heal, unite, to create a nation, to make a family.

Love saves. It thinks nothing of the cost to self.
Love is strong and unswerved by all the forces of darkness around it.

The strongest loves in the world are designed to be husband and wife, parent and child.
And why?
Because they are mirrored reflections of the love of God to man.
That is why those loves, above all, must be kept pure.

What is love? So strong, so weak.

Fragile, beautiful, delicate, teaching, healing, enduring, everlasting.


Love is God. For God is Love.

And true love of any kind can only come in any unperverted form from God.

I experienced love this week in a way that I did not even feel it last year. I saw Him in everything.

From the joys of singing with so many of my sisters, to trying to help people, to being prayed with and able to pray for people and being held and holding while weeping.
The excitement of people over "Queen Jane's Caravan".
The awe of walking in after rounding people up with the words "If you're my sibling or want to be my sibling, come into the gym for a photograph", and discovering the three tiers packed with roughly 105 of my siblings - and more than seven weren't able to be there.
The fear of going up on the platform and nearly not going, in spite of wanting so much to thank those who had helped me so much and also wanting to try and bring some glory to God...
And what would not have happened if I hadn't - what brought me to tears afterwards; five or six students and two parents coming up and thanking me...for what I'd said or something that had been done during the week.

God is an amazing God. He brings inspiration and trust and joy in the midst and at the point where you feel the most isolated.

OUR GOD IS GREATER! He can conquer fear. He can conquer sin. He can conquer death! He can conquer addictions. He can conquer lust. He can conquer the world, the flesh and the devil. He can conquer the bars of jails and the gates of hell!

I love you all so much!

In Christ,
Mademoiselle Siân