Meet the Author's Author

Meet the Author's Author
Live for Jesus! That's what matters! That you see the light in me and come along! :)

Friday, November 30, 2012

Love Has No Expiration Date - Guest Post

I read a quote from my fav aeroplane brother Miguel Flores once. It struck a chord, and I and I think, others, asked him to write more.

As you know, love has a big meaning for me. Been struggling with a few things today and this really struck me again as I re-read it.

Without further ado, I give you: Miguel Flores.

You are walking down a grocery isle and you pick up a new product on the shelf called “love.” It appears to be a special kind, with the subtext saying that it’s specifically for romantic love. Turning it over to read the label, you see that it has a wide variety of ingredients in it--things like patience, affection, selflessness, and other hard-to-swallow things.

You put it in your basket, thinking it might help you with your relationship problems. Little did you realize that you skipped over the disclaimer’s tag, saying that some side effects of “love” might include “pain, hurt, loneliness, suffering, and even hate” if used inappropriately.

And, ironically enough, you also miss the tag that points out that there is no expiration date, which doesn’t seem important at first glance. But, things that don’t have expirations turn out to be very important things; and the implications of such a thing can have dire consequences when unheeded.

Hey guys, listen carefully. (And don’t worry. I’ll be talking to both sides of the equation). You know that phrase? That popular one that cycles around with you and girls a lot. Guess what? The word in there, "love", doesn't have an expiration date. There's no "good for two weeks per girl" tag on it either. Isn't that crazy? "I love you" means "forever". So why do we treat it doesn’t?

If someone says "I love you" then the implication should instantly be "I will love you always," every single time. Instead we treat "I love you" like some trashy catch phrase; most people only mean to say "I like you a lot, but only for as long as I'm interested in you."

But love isn't something that fades away; true love stays, and true love stays forever. If you truly love someone, you will love them through any circumstance or consequence; you will love them whether they're a breath away or in another world entirely; you will love them whether they’re holding your hand or turning their back on you.

(Not an excuse for you to keep stalking ex-girlfriends, by the way. All I’m saying is that love doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to have a perfect relationship; sometimes love means letting go. Love is a two-way thing, and it often means caring for the other person even when they don’t care as much for you.)

So the next time you're about to tell that “special” girl that you "love" her, think about your words carefully. Do you really mean it, or is she just another toy to you? Another pair of jeans you'd like to try on? Is she just another pretty, dispensable face?

Because if you say "I love you" then it had better mean forever, or else your love doesn't matter, it isn't worth much, and it definitely shouldn't be given to her. If your “I love you” doesn’t mean forever, then your “I love you” isn’t good enough; maybe you don’t even really love her. So think about that. "I love you" isn't just a sign of affectionate emotion; it's a soulful, heart-filled promise.

Now that I’ve thoroughly beaten up the guys, it’s time to point out all your issues--lovingly of course. Unfortunately, the world’s a messed up place. If you’ve lived on it, and I’m assuming that everyone reading this has in fact lived on planet earth, then you’ll know this sad fact to be true.

This means that relationships aren’t, nor ever will be, perfect. Much as we’d like them to be, the truth of the matter is that we all have to work at relationships, and we’ve got to work hard (no matter what type of relationship it is--whether romantic or friendships or family or work, etc.).

Because this world is messed up, and relationships are messed up, this means that people are messed up too. So, by now you’re probably exasperated at me basically telling you everything you already know about this annoying thing called life. But, my point is this: even when everything sucks, one of the few things that holds things together is love.

Fortunately, love, as mentioned, doesn’t have an expiration date. Unfortunately, the world does. While love has been built to last forever, it has been plunged into a dark, dying world where nothing lasts forever. So, maybe this is the reason so many people say “I love you” as if they don’t know that it, or even want it to, lasts forever.

With that in mind, girls, please don’t lose hope. Set your expectations high anyway and don’t settle for a lowlife who will treat you less than you deserve. Guys, don’t play the game. Get your priorities straight and treat girls the way they should be treated.

Don’t let yourselves be hardened by people who hurt you. They’re broken, just like you. They’re blind, needy, maybe ignorant, maybe misguided; they simply don’t understand love. Just remember that no matter what goes wrong in your life, you should still love anyway. Even though it brings a lot of heartache, with the way that a broken world has redefined love, the very power of love itself heals.

Love doesn’t have an expiration date, and it doesn’t come in limited doses.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Love Notes

You cannot love God unless your spirit is alive.

The world approaches love in one of two ways - body and soul, or soul and body. It's based on physical attraction or emotional compatability. There's a third aspect which no one considers.

Every religion recognises something that most non-religionists don't. Man has an inbuilt need to worship. That is caused by the spirit.

The spirit is dead until Christ enters it when we are born again and it comes alive.

Christians should approach love from the other end of the triangle - top down. Spirit, soul, body.

The world recognises marriage as a union between people who want to spend the rest of their lives together, but it cannot recognise the reason it is so powerful, why it is so attacked, and why it is being so twisted and perverted as it is.

Because it is one of the most powerful demonstrations of the love of God to man, of the union between Christ and the church; the most liveable of all loves.

And the second that is attacked the most? Parenthood. Father God to His children. Weak fathers, dominant mothers, rebellious children, all focused on themselves.

Love so powerful. Love so perverted.

I wonder what would happen if the greatest force in Creation became pure.

Oops, I did.

In Christ. ;)

And that was world changing.
And life changing.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Rant the 100th - Giving Up The Holes

There's four projects currently running in the call centre. Two of those are the People First project, which most of the guys are working on - an intensely pressured job on which the target is 5 a day and you must get at least 4 a day or run the risk of being laid off; and Women in Leeds, another highly stressful task because of how boring it is.

Most of the responses are no replies or answer phones (now we have cleared out the horrible unobtainables and withheld numbers which shrill piercingly down your ear and one after another are torturous) as most women are out at work during the day. When people actually do answer, there is an incredible amount of refusals, men answering to say their wife/partner isn't there and won't be until gone six pm, or people hanging up in the first sentence (which is quite emotionally knocking, for me anyway).

I'm sitting here writing this as I'm dialling in an attempt to keep my poor brain occupied. I'm an outdoor person, stimulated most by physical activity, and sitting here physically (for the most part of the day) and mentally inactive is driving me bananas. The most we're allowed to do while on the phone is scribble or doodle. I sleep or read during breaks, and design dresses, scribble bits of stories, plots or songs, pray or - apparently - handwrite blog posts while making calls which are likely to be answer phones or no replies. Most of the time on projects I can't do this, and even now, I only get about five words down before having to move on to my next call. If my rate drops below the required 35-40 calls an hour, I'll be monitored and have to stop doing this. I should be thankful I get to do this, but I'm really struggling at the moment. :P

God and I had a conversation the other night. Well, it was more like a tear-splashed rant. In which I reminded Him what He already knows, that I love my colleagues and my bosses, but that this job is emotional torment for me. I begged Him for the hundredth time for a job with better wages nearer home, and told Him about how exhausted (mentally and emotionally) I am coming home, from lack of mental stimulation, over emotional use (rejection etc), and grieving over my dreams.
Dreams to found and run a home for injured people, or a convent where I could encourage single people and point them towards Christ, while they still are open to the possibility of marriage/preparing for marriage, while also keeping the door open for any injured people who come to find peace, healing and hope - by pointing them to Christ.
Dreams of helping young people, people who have been through what I've been through, and living out Christ's work in my life.
Dreams of writing.
Dreams of dancing.
Dreams of marrying the guy I love and having my own home and children.
Dreams of travelling all over the world, of climbing mountains, of emigration, dreams of singing professionally, dreams of learning languages, of saving children from abortion and adopting them.

When my brain is alert enough to grieve over them, it does. I hate this forced stagnation, even though it's partially my fault for never knowing what I wanted to do apart from joining the military. I hate the ache inside that realises I will probably never fulfil a lot of those dreams. The constant tiredness, the knowledge that I'm doing no good to anyone currently, the constant slipping up and falling, the wishing I could blend helping people online with housework and still failing both miserably, the missing dreams and longings and the emotional and mental gunk from my job are all generating a constant mound towards depression.

Which I talked out in a stream of frustrated tears, broken sentences and long silences, to God.

And He did the unpredictable again.

He asked for my dreams back.

But I'd already surrendered them. And besides, I hadn't got any to give back. They were all gone. Impossible figments of a once-active imagination. All I'd got were the gaps they'd left. Holes full of pain, sorrow, frustration, grief, and yes, even a little anger.

So maybe that's what He's asking for.

My holes.

The aching empty longing. The knowledge that many dreams won't come true.

But what can GOD do with HOLES?

The same that He can do with nothing. He creates something beautiful.

He wants my holes. He wants me to trust Him with them. To continue with the knowledge that my dreams are wisps, to let go and still hope in an invisible future while the world grows dark because He, the Light of the World, is there and has promised me a future, whether here or in glory.

So that's faith...the courage to take a step out in the darkness, when crossing the mire of life and you can't see your hand in front of your face, in the knowledge beyond knowledge that He is holding you.

And that's lean on an Unseen Hand in darkness and believe He will carry you through.

I don't know about people who say Christianity is a crutch. It's the most intensely painful, deliberately vulnerable and highly accountable positions anyone could choose to be in.
But it's worth it.

In Psalm 23, the Psalmist says, "Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup overflows."

I like to think of the cup as the holes. Because God does pour healing oil on our wounds. And we do grow. And He blesses us far more than we'd imagined, when we're crying for the trinket instead of searching for the gold.

Our God is an Awesome God. He has promised Himself to those who seek after Him and do His Will.

This reality, all we know, is only dust. He is the Only Reality.

I'm falling short of words, and am still struggling with my holes. *smiles a bit*
I pray we all learn the bliss of sweet surrender, for as much as our proud hearts hate it and think we can do better, there is a real peace and joy in surrender.

In Christ,
Mademoiselle Siân

Monday, November 12, 2012

Statement of Manhood

I guess it's a pretty well known fact that I don't trust guys.

Even though I love my brothers, (I really do. You guys are awesome!), I still can't trust most of the guys I know.
(That not being entirely your faults; often it's mine, in that I feel I can't trust you because you don't know how bad I am. :P)

There are a few that made it into my closed, barred, walled and icy heart. Because when it comes to trusting, that's exactly what I am. Remember I said that was what God was working on next? :D

Those few (four/five in total) have faced every kind of backfire you could possibly imagine from me. And they still care about me. They're pretty amazing guys. God's...God works so clearly in them and through them to the people around them. To me, they're the epitome of Unconditional Love. God's Love.

It was 5am GMT, and 11pm CST, when one of these guys was up chatting me one night. I won't name him to spare him embarrassment, but he's one of my closest friends and totally awesome.

What he said that night stuck with me over the following three months until I decided to write up this blog post in honour of what, to me, was a declaration of manhood.

"You have my unconditional love as my sister in Christ.
As a man, I will strive to be faithful in our friendship as God is faithful to you in everything.
No matter how painful, or numb, or senseless you might feel right now, it will come to an end, it always does, and Jesus will come through for you
He will always come through.
It can be so hard to wait, but the wait will end
God is growing you, and has plans for your life, however bleak the present seems
He will, and is, using you to touch lives and show love for his glory
No one's life is easy, your's least of all
But it will be worth it in the end.
Persevere to the end Siân, continue to fight for life, to trust in God, and love those around you."

I still go back, read and reread that chat from time to time.

I'm pretty sure he doesn't know how much he's blessed me. He's stayed with me from the heights to the depths that so few know. And he still loves me, unconditionally, as God loves me.

That's pure love. The love that every man and woman needs to have. It's a gift; no mistake.
"Ask, and it shall be given unto you. Seek, and ye shall find. Knock and the door will be opened unto you."

"But now abide faith, hope and love - these three. But the greatest of these is love."

"Love covers a multitude of sins."

Here is Love vast as the ocean,
Lovingkindness as a flood.
When the Prince of Life, my ransom,
Shed for me His precious blood.
Who, His love, will not remember?
Who can cease to sing His praise?
He can never be forgotten
Throughout Heaven's eternal days.

Oh, the deep, deep love of Jesus,
Love of every love the best!
Tis an ocean vast of blessing,
Tis a Haven, sweet, of rest.
Oh, the deep, deep love of Jesus,
Tis a Heaven of Heavens to me.
And it lifts me up to glory -
For it lifts me up to Thee.

Men and women. Men and women of God. Can we take the same vow? To love unconditionally? Can we pray to love with the love of God - to be open vessels to love to those around us?

In Christ,
Mademoiselle Siân

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

I Have Given You A Future

I'm hastily writing this before going downstairs to get on with some housework. No, I haven't forgotten the BGT blog post, you should get it tomorrow. ;)

Two places in the Bible do God's promises of a future stand out to me - the well known verse in Jeremiah, where He says,
"‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart,"
and a lesser known verse in Isaiah, where He tells us,
"Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. 'Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert."

I'm heading out for an appointment with a psychologist this afternoon, due to pressure from family and friends. :P

I don't personally think it will do much good for now. In about a year or so, when some other things have stopped or at least distanced, then there will be more of a chance for something like turning to face it all will succeed.

However, as much as my current hurting has been jibed at by people who know me little to not at all, I do want to heal. I have expressed that so many times.

Although I've longed and cried and prayed to die, I know, as my friends Kyle, Brendan and Mama Lauser keep reminding me, that God has a reason for me being here. That every next breath I take is still a gift, whether unwelcome or not, from His Hand. I know that some of you, although very few now, still need me.

The process of getting hurt is easy. The running from it is intrinsically and pathetically painful and trapping. The fighting dealing with it is scarring. Turning to face your monsters is bravery.

I guess I just wanted to leave you with this today. Monsters of your past, of your physical memory or spiritual past, aren't anything to be scorned or laughed at. They're real. And sooner or later, you're gonna have to face them, unless you want to spend your life running.

But there's God Who will come alongside if you but ask, and give you strength and courage and fight your battle with you.

It takes courage to do that.

Courage to humble yourself before God and ask for help.

Courage to face your monsters.

And oh yes.

It takes courage to heal.

In Christ,
~Mademoiselle Siân