Meet the Author's Author

Meet the Author's Author
Live for Jesus! That's what matters! That you see the light in me and come along! :)

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Britain's Got Talent

So I made a chicken goulashy thing for tea. :D No, it wasn't against the Daleks. *cough* It was so yummy, I wrote down the recipe before I forgot it. :D

Fry an onion in butter (preferably in a saucepan :D).
Add one can of chopped tomatoes.
Cook.
Chop in half of the chicken breast (we use a whole chicken for three days' meals).
Throw in some fresh herbs (basil, thyme and oregano) and dried herbs (basil and mixed herbs).
Mix.
Sprinkle with Spicy Chill Mix (El Paso).
Grate in some cheese.

Heat up Lemon Basmati Rice in the microwave.

For drinks, serve up bitter lemon and Tango orange.

:D

I'm lying here in bed, very, very conscious that in six hours time, I will be at the ICC in Birmingham auditioning for Britain's Got Talent.

I keep shooting between certainty of failure and positive terror. :P I know that operatic style singers aren't usually taken to kindly, I know I'm not a trained singer, I know I blush bright red when I have to sing in front of people. I know my voice could crack, although it's not likely to fail from sheer stage fright. I know the fact I've chosen not to have a backing track could make it even worse as everything will hang on my untrained voice.

I know some of my peers will think I shouldn't be going for this. I know I'm terrified of being emotionally damaged from feedback.


But I know a couple of other things too.


I know that while my singing may not be good enough to pass professionally, that it has brought beauty and joy and inspiration to others.

While it may sound displeasing to the judges, it will one day, Lord willing, delight my children.

I know that in 24 hours, this will all be over.

I know that I love singing, I always will, and it is one of the most exquisite expressions of my soul for me.

I know that while I long to earn my living by a different exercise of my voice - singing rather than phone conversations - God knows best where I should be.

I know that I am blessed with the intense amount of support from family, work colleagues and friends - especially my Yanks. :D

I know that this entire affair is in the Lord's Hands, and if this is where He wants me, as it appears to be for at least today, then He will give me courage and strength. Britain's Got Talent isn't the end of the world; Heaven and Hell are.
God has promised me that a) He will be with me always, even to the end of the age; b) to be strong and courageous, for He it is that goes with me; and c) that I can do all things through Christ Who gives me strength.


While I truly want to be successful, even though I doubt it, I know that in the end, it's where He wants me that matters. Where He has planned my life to go.

And I know it will be beautiful. :)

Love in Christ,
Mademoiselle Siân

Sunday, October 21, 2012

In Love With Someone I've Never Met

Now I've posted one topic on the state of my affections, ready yourselves for a barrage of day-to-day stuff I notice comparative between the love of God and this earthly, God-given affection. :D


One of my friends posted an interesting reply to my last night tweet, which was: God is so very good to me, that I'm so very in love with two wonderful guys.

He said: You can't be 'in love' with someone you've never met.


I'm guessing he meant I couldn't be in love with God.
But again, I had to chuckle, because the guy I'm in love with now, I have loved for two years. I met him last year and spent a very short period of time with him, and that has been the one and only time in our lives, in our four-and-a-half year friendship that we've met.

Oh yes, I can be in love with someone I've never met.

I spend time every day or couple of days chatting with him.
I talk about him.
I think about him.
I pray over him.
I think of him when doing something and what he'd like or he'd do.
I keep his letters with me.
I dream of the day that he'll come to visit my country.

*cough*

Sound familiar? ;)

What do we do with our relationship with God? Sure, we've never met Him physically, face to face.

How do we get to know Him? How do we fall in love with Him?


We spend time with Him, daily, talking to Him like He's standing there. Prayer's not a formality, it's a communication/conversation. He's _your best Friend._

How about talking about Him? If not with those who don't know him, then with those who also do and encourage them to fall in love with Him.

Think about Him. Dwell on His goodness and faithfulness, His little love gifts which are the everyday common place blessings.

Praise Him! Tell Him how thankful you are for Who and What He is and what He has done! How do you build up the person you love? Words of affirmation! Words that show confidence in him and his decisions, that show trust in him as a man. Why do less for Almighty God? He doesn't NEED it, but He likes to hear it and it brings us closer!

When you're doing your day-to-day activities, ask yourself if it's something He would like or that He would do. Give Him the same respect you should show your lover - listen to His opinions.

And where'd you find those? In what has been called the greatest Love Letter of all time. God chose to record and share His entire history and show all of the past that He knows, good and bad - with you. He shared the greatest gift He could ever give you through that Letter - the death of Christ on the cross for your sins, and the resurrection which He conquered death with. I wish my heart gave the same thrill every time I open the Bible that it does when I open Mr. Charming's letters. I want to reread the Bible over and over with the same enjoyment that I reread every word he wrote. Take it with you wherever you go - if not physically, then in your heart. :)

And how often do we dream of the day that He'll come to take us home and we'll be with Him forever and ever?
I'll share a little secret with you.
For at least the first thousand years, I want to curl up in a ball at the Lord's feet, and wind my fingers into a corner of His robe, (hopefully He has one for that purpose ;)) and sit there staring up into His face. He doesn't have to notice me. I know He'll love me anyway.

*cough*

So...yeah. Some of these I do, some of them I'm ashamed that I don't. I'm ashamed I'm scared to speak up and stand up for the One Who has done so much for me, as much as I vigorously defend my love for Mr. Charming. (Sorry, you're all going to have to put up with that name for him.) What about you?

Cause for the rest of your life, physically in love, married or single, you're going to have a Love to love. And that's a Love beyond compare.

Go and retrain yourself to fall in love with Someone you've never met. Physically. Go and meet Him in Spirit.

~In Love with Love Who is God,

Mademoiselle Siân

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Spontaneity

I had the day off work, and a brill day yesterday.

:P

So I'm going to tell you ALLLL about it.

I woke up at 10am. *cough*

By midday, I'd chatted three people, had two phone calls, and sorted out online banking and my bus pass ID card. I'd spoken to Mom and phoned Hollybush Garden Nurseries and attempted to purchase an indoor water fountain, thanks to a lovely lady who sent money to Mom as a get well present.

After getting dressed, I headed downtown to post a parcel to one of my friends for his upcoming birthday.

I stopped into Wilkinsons Hardware Store and bought some brown tape (because the package wasn't very secure), a military man figure with removeable helmet, gun, binocs and stuffs for Joseph's Christmas present, and a candle for Mom's.

Heading up to Tesco's, I bought three bouquets and a pair of Jeans, then took one bouquet over to the ladies in Walsall College who saved a good part of my hair the other day when it had to be cut.

Walking back through town, I was texting one of my close friends in the US through Twitter's Direct Messaging system (I LOVE THAT THING), and looked at the clock. I had to be home for 2 as the workman was coming between 2-4 to fix the washing machine. It was 13:58.

Oh well, I thought, and veered off into Argos, where I'd seen a £24.99 wedding ring for sale months before.
I programmmed the number into the checking machine, and it said "Please go and purchase at the Jewellery Counter."
So I did... :P

She asked my ring size; I said I didn't know. She glanced at my hand, and held out a ring on a ring chain, which I tried on.
Stepping outside the back, she brought the ring back and asked if I wanted to wear it. I said yes...and haven't taken it off since. It's nice to have a ring that perfectly fits my finger instead of Just adapting rings to it.
No, I'm not married...yes, it's for protection. ;)

Even got 1-2 years insurance on it. :D

Got home and started chatting to one of my close friends cause I was all excited about my purchases, and then the workman arrived. He was a lovely chatty fellow, and we spent 20 minutes chatting while he fixed the washing machine by reprogramming the computer. He was amused by my sense of humour and said I should go on Britain's Got Talent...and then nearly had heart failure when I assured him that I was. :P

After that, I realised that - guess what? I'd failed to post the parcel. :D So I went back out...and as I shut the door behind me, I realised I'd left my keys in the back door. So I was locked out.

The question of whether to visit Mom since she had another all-day visitor became a certainty. She has the only other set of keys. :P

The bouquet which I'd also intended for my sister became Mom's as well, as I wasn't taking flowers to the hospital to explain them away, when I was going to give her flowers anyway...

Took the bus into Walsall and trotted off to the post office, sent off the parcel, and then walked up from town to the hospital.

Where I met the pleasant news and spent an hour with Mom and took photos. :P

Then I walked home...literally. The bus wasn't there and I hate waiting. Consequently, I was tired. :P

Got home, picked up the other flowers and took them around to my sister, and spent about half an hour there with my beautiful little niece.

I sat down next to Ayanna.
She picked up my hand in her two little ones and put it on her lap, then started stroking my arm.
Got to my hand and ran her tiny fingers over my rough skin.
Looked up at me and then at her mom, Samantha, and pointed back at a particularly dry patch of eczema on my wrist.
"Poorly!"
It wasn't even that visible!
Such a clever girl. Not even two yet! *is proud Auntie*

Then I walked home...now very tired...and started cooking my tea, which had to be warmed up three times. :P Finally curled up on my bed with it, a glass of Coke and a Bakewell cake, and watched The Angels Take Manhattan.

Cleared up and tended to Sparkie and Scat and then went to bed!

THAT has been my most productive Friday in over a year.

Don't anyone dare tell me that God isn't good. *smiles quietly*

To have legs that move and eyes that see, ears that hear and hands that touch, minds that think clearly and clothes to wear, a roof over your head and money to give, and a heart to love with the love of God.

Oh, that is mercy and richness and blessings and love beyond compare. HOW GREAT THOU ART!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Approaching Catalyst

Kristin D and I have a unique friendship. It began at OYAN Summer Workshop, 2012, when I looked into her eyes and said the words she's never forgotten. "(God has given me the gift so) I can read eyes."

One of the closest sisters and friends I have, we have a special relationship. She's one of those people, the ones that you can bring God smack dab into a conversation without feeling awkward - or where you don't even realise He's in it, but He is. She's been one of the greatest encouragements and lifesavers in my life.

God is very much in our friendship.



September 13th, several days after one of the greatest sins in my life.

I was talking to Kristin.

In her words:
[3:35:47 PM] Kristin D: Okay I had read Psalm 3... and then musing over it... Something with you had blown up that day... and I was writing about you, and about me...
"We're both weak, and both near the edge. I'm asking God for miracles at this point. We're both broken. But after reading that Psalm, I have a feeling that God's about to do something big. Really big."


October 12th, early evening:

Chatting with older brother and mentor Keifer L.

(11:12:03 PM) Sian Garner-Jones: I feel awful.
(11:43:07 PM) Keifer Lucchi: I feel fairly scummy too...
(11:47:49 PM) Sian Garner-Jones: What's up?
(11:48:16 PM) Keifer Lucchi: Lots of temptation
(11:48:25 PM) Keifer Lucchi: Lots of stupid obvious attacks
(11:48:37 PM) Keifer Lucchi: A lot on To Turn Back Time
(11:48:51 PM) Keifer Lucchi: Satan HATES this film
(11:48:55 PM) Keifer Lucchi: Hates it
(11:49:04 PM) Keifer Lucchi: I just want to be left alone!
(11:49:24 PM) Sian Garner-Jones: *hugs*
(11:49:28 PM) Sian Garner-Jones: ...
(11:49:29 PM) Sian Garner-Jones: Hang on.
(11:49:35 PM) Sian Garner-Jones: You're getting obvious attacks too?
(11:50:13 PM) Keifer Lucchi: Yup
(11:52:07 PM) Sian Garner-Jones: Hmmm...
(12:52:52 AM) Keifer Lucchi: Tech related today
(12:52:53 AM) Keifer Lucchi: But yeah
(12:52:53 AM) Keifer Lucchi: Dead monitor.
(12:52:53 AM) Keifer Lucchi: Phantom dead hard hard drive space
(12:52:53 AM) Keifer Lucchi: Stupid printer deleated itself
(12:52:53 AM) Keifer Lucchi: And yeah...


An hour later, I post on Facebook:

[3:25:24 PM] Siân Garner-Jones: Fairly curious and an odd question.

Who else is getting obvious, seemingly pointless attacks off Satan right now? As opposed to the usual subtlety that you don't notice for ages.

Nicolae Bookwyrm Holley I.
15 hours ago · Like

Miguel Flores A lot of people are.

I don't know if it's necessarily Satan or not for everyone, but there have been a lot more direct attacks on many of the people I know and myself.

I wonder if this perhaps could be a clue that Christians should be getting ready for something.
15 hours ago · Unlike · 7

Jacki Crooks I haven't been personally getting attacked, but I have been feeling the effects of what I am beginning to suspect might be spiritual attacks on someone near me.
14 hours ago · Like

Mishpakha Cannottell yes, lots. and someone explained verry nicely on the if it was satan or not. he showed what happend in Job, that it was satan, but that God let down his protection, as a test. we may be being tested, for something greater may be about to happen. Job was given seven times as much for passing the testy.
14 hours ago · Like · 1

Timothy Meigs Yeah, some mental attacks.
13 hours ago · Like

Hannah Mills Yup. Though I'm not sure if they are from the devil or simply my own wonky brain.
12 hours ago · Unlike · 1

Rebekah Sandy Swank Ditto Hannah.
11 hours ago · Like

Brandyce DaisyButterfly Luna *raises hand shyly*
10 hours ago · Like

Christopher Roy Bates Yes the last two weeks have been awful, literally one thing after another
5 hours ago via mobile · Like

Siân Garner-Jones Now that. Is rather interesting... I thought it was -ust me until tonight...when I spoke to Keifer.
I'm going to risk being made fun of to admit that recently, attacks for me have gone ridiculous, like Satan's throwing every obvious trick in the book, from blatant "voices" that I'm worthless, to guy problems. Plus, I think God's changing me, cause I'm starting to feel stronger...and I also feel like something big is about to happen. (When I get 'feelings' like this, they have always taken place.)
Again, I thought it was on a personal level, but maybe not...
2 hours ago · Like

Liz Harris-Clark Siân I'm going through the same! I'm an absolute nightmare to be around right now with emotional outbursts raining down on me. Self-pity and dejection surround me...but it is also during a time where I am making an active point of wanting to grow closer to God through study and prayer. I don't think Satan likes that somehow!
2 hours ago · Unlike · 1

Siân Garner-Jones I wonder what on earth is going on...
2 hours ago · Like

Siân Garner-Jones Okay. Maybe not on earth.
2 hours ago · Like

Siân Garner-Jones I was talking to Mama Lauser yesterday, and she was basically saying what Liz -ust said - to use this time of obvious attacks to draw nearer to God - praising Him for everything, prayer, studying His Word, being in constant communication with Him, in preparation for the 'main event.'
about an hour ago · Like · 1

Lilly Ivring Me.


October 13th, one month after Kristin first wrote in her diary:

We chat.

[3:28:26 PM] Kristin D: Yeah... *whispers* I've been being attacked too. *nods*
[3:28:33 PM] Kristin D: ...a lot...
[3:28:35 PM] Kristin D: But...
[3:29:06 PM] Kristin D: Jesus is bigger... Jesus is stronger... the powers of Hell can't stand against us

[3:29:14 PM] Siân Garner-Jones: Amen!

[3:29:52 PM] Kristin D: And... Remember what God told Jeremiah...?

[3:30:10 PM] Siân Garner-Jones: which...?
[3:30:13 PM] Siân Garner-Jones: *tips head*

[3:30:42 PM] Kristin D: Um... the first chapter of Jeremiah... let me find it...
[3:33:03 PM] Kristin D: "Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them. Today I have made you a fortified city, an iron pillar anda bronze wall to stand against the whole land -- against the kinds of Judah, its officials, its priests and the people of the land. They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you."
[3:33:17 PM] Kristin D: vs 1-19

[3:33:19 PM] Siân Garner-Jones: *smiles*

[3:33:31 PM] Kristin D: If our God is for us, who shall ever stop us?

[3:33:49 PM] Siân Garner-Jones: And if our God is with us, then what shall stand against us?

[3:34:07 PM] Kristin D: Something is happening. Jesus is bringing the rain. Satan is terrified. So he's attacking. But Satan is not strong enough to defeat us, because the Living God is inside of us.

[3:37:10 PM] Siân Garner-Jones: Why do I feel like we're on the edge of a catalyst...

[3:37:16 PM] Kristin D: Catalyst?

[3:38:39 PM] Siân Garner-Jones: cat·a·lyst/ˈkatl-ist/
Noun:
A substance that increases the rate of a chemical reaction without itself undergoing any permanent chemical change.
A person or thing that precipitates an event.
[3:38:42 PM] Siân Garner-Jones: Definition two.

[3:39:03 PM] Kristin D: Yah... that seems to sum it up. O.O
[3:39:19 PM] Kristin D: Okay. Well. I guess something's probably going to happen. So. Get ready.

[3:39:27 PM] Siân Garner-Jones: Mmm..yeah.

[3:40:12 PM] Kristin D: And this thing... I guess it could be good or bad. Keep our eyes on Jesus, and we will be okay. Because GOD LOVES US.

[3:40:59 PM] Siân Garner-Jones: I promise.
[3:41:06 PM] Siân Garner-Jones: And God holds the weaving, sis...
[3:41:12 PM] Siân Garner-Jones: God always holds the weaving.

[3:42:32 PM] Kristin D: Yah...
[3:42:43 PM] Kristin D: I g2g.
[3:42:48 PM] Kristin D: LOVE YOU. (heart)


I send out an email to my mentors:

"Recently, I've been starting to recognise more and more a defective, very faulty line in my thinking.

You know how terrified I am of pain.

And I know God uses pain to grow. Often, the greatest of God's blessings come with the worst kinds of pain. That's experience.:P

But still, I've always had this thing in the back of my head.

If I pretend I'm weaker than I am. If I say I can't do something I know I can through Christ. If I sin, somewhere...if I cut, or turn to one of my other addictions, and fall a little, then Satan will triumph and stop bothering me so much for a while, and ease off on the pain.

And that's where I think the getting stronger thing is...God's...enabling me to resist...some of it more than I used to be.

So the greatest of God's blessings...may soon fall, with the worst kinds of pain.

That probably didn't make much sense. :D"

I think His greatest blessings come when we let go of the sins we're hanging onto to let Him in. We're afraid of what will happen if we let go of those little failings that make up our identities in our head. And letting go of them often lets in the worst kinds of pain.

Because the things God can do with us when we let go completely can shake the world.


I wonder what He's up to now.

Love in Christ,
Mademoiselle Siân


Me to God: Keep me humble.
*realises what that may entail*
And not ripped up.
*favourite quote*
Unless a man is nothing, God can make nothing out of him.
*headdesk* :P

Little Parcel

I woke up this morning not feeling very good. Well, I usually feel physically great after a lie in, but not mentally, especially when waking at 1pm.

About half an hour later, Mom was just about to go out.

"Sian! There's a parcel down here for you."

I let out a shriek and bolted downstairs, as I was expecting one...although I had no idea what was in it. (I love surprise parcels, sometimes. :D)

"It can't be the one you think it is...it's from Preston!" Mom said.

I blinked, knowing the Hodgson girls hadn't sent me anything!

Surprised, I tried to detangle the brown tape from the parcel, but it clung tightly to the lighter brown paper. The parcel was long, brown and slender - not like I was expecting. Though I didn't know WHAT I was expecting. :D

Finally ripping the tape off, I managed to start unrolling it, and eventually reached the bubble wrapping.

Now, if you're anything like me, bubble wrapping is half of the present. ;)

I stopped to read the message.

"To my beloved sister Sian. I'm sorry I couldn't find something prettier than what you see whenever you look in the mirror. These will have to do. :)"

I could see the blue colour as I began to open it, which was the only hint I'd been given, so I knew it was the parcel I'd been expecting.

Eight turquoise blue wooden roses slipped out the wrapping into my hand.

I reread the message. And cried.



I love big brothers who care so little about tradition that they do things people wouldn't normally class as proper.

Wooden roses are awesome. Because they don't die.

Thank You, Lord, for one of the most awesome guys I know, for the way he has and will touch my life and so many others. Please continue to bless him, strengthen him, and grow him mightily in You. Prepare him for the work that You have for him, and give him the strength and courage to do it.

In Christ's Name,
Amen

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

In Love With Two Guys

Dear guys, blokes, men and gentlemen,

This is particularly addressed at you, although it's also a general announcement, because I want you to know where I stand, why I'm off limits and why my Facebook status reads, "It's complicated."

Simply because a lot of guys seem to read, "It's complicated" on any girl's status not as a chance to help them out (not me in this case) but as a chance to get a foot in the door.

I also want to explain what love means to me - something far beyond mere emotion or fluff, or something that can wither and die. If you've read my blog long enough, you'll know what love is to me. Eternal, unconditional, priceless. True love is God - the heart of God to man. And true love is a gift from God, planted in someone's heart, to never be given up on and thrown away. If God has given you love, then it's nothing to sacrifice lightly.

I didn't start this way. When I first fell in love, it was a deliberate choice. The second time, it grew on me. And then it was attachment and emotion. Everything since, God has grown in my heart.

So yes...the title. I'm in love with two guys.
Jesus Christ, my Saviour and God.
And Prince Charming.


Prince Charming is still a mystery man, the guy who will one day, if God wills, marry me. I still don't know who he is.

But there is a guy who God has gifted me with love for; whether or not he chooses to pursue/love me in the future is not my business. God has called me to love him and wait for him without question.

I cannot claim to understand the mind of God. This path has not been an easy one to walk. The pain, tears, letting go, clinging on, trusting, fighting...it has been a massive Spiritual growth area in my life.
There is no point in the future, whether anything happens or not, that I will regret having loved him.
Because this is the method God chose to reveal His heart to me. When I started to come out of my backslide, he was the only person that I had any real care for outside of my own pain.

When I realised I loved him, it was based off exactly what I had before. Feelings, emotion, up and down. Like any crush. But in a world where I'd suddenly discovered what men could be like, he was the only guy that I trusted in any shape or form. I prayed and prayed and it wouldn't go away. And I remember one day, having a talk with my adopted big brother, and we both saw the crossroads, because in spite of loving him, I kept jumping from one guy to another. And I made the choice to commit to loving him. And God started to show me Love.

Through the pain and tears, the momentary joys and the clinging on to fragile hope that smashed every minute with the pain that was last year, God showed me beauty I cannot describe. I remember standing at the bus stop one day after work, absolutely blinded by the beauty of His love that He was showing me.
I'm still speechless and unable to...say. I can only try and...live.

Through giving me love for him, teaching me to love him and how to love him, through his brotherly, constant, unwavering and unconditional love for me, I have seen more of the love and heart of God than I could ever have grasped.

I'd like to state here that he loves me as my brother in Christ - different to the way I love him. But like I just said - that's not my business. Following Christ is, and that's the way He calls me to walk.

During the several years we have been friends, he has stayed by me through thick and thin - through my falling in love the first time, my backsliding, the breakup of our friendship after which he STILL refused to leave, through multiple blockings and cut offs from me, through my swearing at him, even to the worst sins. I keep thinking of a sin that would send him away. And nothing does.

He literally lives Christ's love to me.

I've lashed out at him, tried to hurt him, tried to send him away. I've sinned so badly I thought I was beyond forgiveness and that he'd leave me. I still ask him to reassure me that he won't leave, after he promised that he wouldn't. If I go off in a temper, he stays. He always forgives, always comes back, always says he's sorry. And pretty much always he's gentle with me, solid and calm and there. Like a rock.

Isn't that the way Christ is with us? *looks at you all straight in the eyes*

I used to be sure that God loved the whole world, but never that He loved me individually. That I was special to Him. That if the whole world was righteous and I the only sinner, that He loved me individually enough to die for me. I was convinced I was second best, disgusting...every negative thing the people closest to me told me about myself. Proud, arrogant, show off, know it all, pretender, hypocrite. You name it. (Which is not the best thing to do, ever.) I think they thought that if I was told more positive stuff about myself, I'd become even more arrogant.
They're right in one sense. Part of me is. But part of me isn't.

And it took this guy's unconditional, unwavering love to show me that.

Since he's actually overseas, my love for him doesn't just have to stand the test of time, but the test of distance. Which is something I struggle with often. Not the deep down core of me, which loves him completely. But the human part of me, that is lonely and tired and hurting, struggles. It's not going to change though. This is what God has called me to.

One thing that stands out heavily to me in the love of God, which is what all love should be modelled on, is the relationship between Christ and the Church. It's long distance. :P
I think I sympathise more with the Church now in her wanderings and strayings, desperately trying to stay faithful and finding it so hard, than I have in my entire existence as a Christian.
But God loves her. He stays faithful. And He loves her unconditionally.

He doesn't stop loving her because she's on earth. And she doesn't stop loving Him because He's not physically with her.

Oh, it's so hard. *smiles quietly* And I know at least one of my sisters will understand that, and honey, I love you. :)

But as the friend I chatted with about this said, it is possible. It's possible to love where it's not returned the way you wanted. It's possible to love when all powers of hell seem to stand against you. It's possible to love those that you don't think you could ever love. It's possible to love.

You know why?

Because the power of Christ is in you.

*smiles* Isn't that glorious? Isn't the power of Christ within us unlimited when we let go and let Him love out?

So yes.

I'm in love with two guys, both miles away; one Heavenly, one earthly; one modelling the love that the First has already bestowed. And that ain't gonna change until God Himself tells me to stop loving that guy. And He's never going to stop the relationship between Him and me, even if the other changes, is stopped, or whatever.

I have a relationship with Almighty God. Isn't that fantastic.

So yeah. Guys, you have your explanation. ;) I'm sorry, I'm very, very much taken. And oh yes, it's complicated. ;) You honestly have no right to even challenge this unless you can match up to that. :P

And I guess I'd just like to ask You to bless that guy right now, Father, for living You to me with his life and unchanging consistency. Bless him with many blessings, draw him ever closer to You, change him, mold him and make him more and more like You. Bless him richly in the ways You know.

And thank You. So, so much.

How Great is our God!


Love always in Christ,
Mademoiselle Siân

Thursday, October 04, 2012

Smashing the Laws of Pharisaical Parenthood

I'd like to point out a fact.

There's parenthood.

And there's parents.

Parenthood is a God-ordained authority at the head of the family, where husband (leading authority figure) co-joins with wife to provide a supportive guidance network to care for physical, emotional and spiritual needs, requiring implicit trust and obedience when the child is not of an age to make informed decisions for themselves and is still learning about the world.
This institution is, as all institutions should be, submitted to Divine guidance and treated with humble fear and trembling by husband and wife, as they (as one) represent the relationship between God as Father and men as His children (when born again).

Parents are the people in that institution, and should be fully aware of their responsibilities to the next generation and before Almighty God before ever taking on the role of making babies.

While parenthood is a God institution and should be respected as such, some parents treat it as though they have the "Divine right of kings", demanding implicit obedience to everything - and abusing their power.

The Bible commands children to obey their parents IN THE LORD.
Your walk with God is individual, as is your salvation - between you and God. As soon as you are old enough to make informed and wise decisions on your own (which should be, although cautiously, encouraged and allowed by parents), then any command which conflicts with where the Lord is telling you to walk, is not in the Lord.

(Of course, all decisions should be made after listening to all advise and with much prayerful consideration.)

Sorry if I just shocked your socks off...but please consider this with an open mind rather than a blinkered, already prejudiced outlook.

Brendan and I are looking at co-authoring a book in the distant future.

Suggested titles:
SMASHING THE LAWS OF PHARISAICAL PARENTHOOD,
USE AND ABUSE OF AUTHORITY,
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PARENTS AND PARENTHOOD.

There comes a time when a child becomes an adult and while they still have a duty to listen and respect their parents' opinions, the parents don't control their lives any more. They take responsibility for themselves and their own decisions, mistakes, choices.

No parent has the right to decide a child's ultimate destiny, whether in job or marriage. The latter should be between two people, God and authority figures as counsellors - not controllers.

Responsibility is for one's own actions and those in one's charge who are unable/unfit to make their own, at least in regards to safety, well-being, and that resting heavily on their mental capacity.

Which, I would like to suggest, does NOT apply to young adults who are fully competent. If you're encouraging your young adult to be responsible, make decisions and change the world, encouraging them to develop their own personal relationship with God, what message do you think you are sending by playing God in their life? Your role is guidance, advise, unconditional love and support. NOT control.

I don't believe I'm being feminist in stating that a girl can Biblically submit to her father without him making every last decision for her. And to those who would gravely point me to Isaac, I laugh and say, Rebekah.

Girls do need more protection from their father, and to be able to know they are loved and cherished.
However, girls can be treasured without being treated like dolls.
They also have minds, and personal walks with God, and if you've raised them right, the ability to make their own informed decisions.

There's something that most people forget in the parent part of life. It's the ability to trust God and let go.

Young adults should submit to the parental authority as only as lies within their own personal walk with God. That goes for male and female. A young person would be foolish not to consider advice from those with more experience, but there comes a time when control is limited. Simply because if it weren't, we would have a generation of people limited with no free will and dependent on an older generation growing older and nearer the grave.

To encourage us to have a vision that as yet is blurry, that is sweeping over so many young people as a burning fire to know God in a new, true and real way, personally and individually; to encourage us to set the world afire for Christ, to do hard things, and then to step on us when of an age to make competent, well-informed decisions and when we have shown that (ALTHOUGH HUMAN AND MAKING MISTAKES) we do try and listen, consider advice and act wisely, is to totally go against what you have been raising us to be. Think twice.


To change the times, we must step out. Be brave, be wise. Look to God and cling to Him; trust Him implicitly. Listen to advice. Don't be foolish. Don't abuse the freedom, as they should not be abusing the power.


I really should write more when I'm cross about tyrannical abuse of parenthood...or heavy parenting (rather than heavy shepherding). :P

In Christ and God bless,
~Mademoiselle Siân