Meet the Author's Author

Meet the Author's Author
Live for Jesus! That's what matters! That you see the light in me and come along! :)

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The American Journey - This Journey of Faith (Part 2)

Currently, I'm feeling slightly triumphant, because my earphones are working in the plane socket and I have Katherine Jenkins' beautiful voice singing Time to Say Goodbye down my ears and getting goosebumps as usual. (The Sound of Katherine Jenkins is a CD I have to get.)

I must be getting old! I slept some last night, but I was sitting in the airport with yawns splitting my face, and as soon as I got in the plane and settled down, I fell asleep, only arousing at take-off and then for lunch at around 10:30 GMT - oh, and once for pretzels. I totally missed the headphones which is why I'm feeling all clever about using my own. :P

So delighted to get a window seat on this flight. The cloud formations, the varying shades of blue and the icicles forming on the window which I can both watch and hear - these are a delight to my camera and me! :P

Unfortunately, this is the only time out of the three flights that I will actually be getting either a meal or a window seat. :P But I am blessed - blessed indeed.

To be honest, although for once this actually seems real to me and although excited, I'm rather blasé about the whole thing, in another way I have to keep questioning whether this can possibly be "little Siân Jones from Walsall" crossing the great pond by herself for the fourth time. Yes, it is, the cool side of me reassures, but even that is amazed at the Providence that brought me here.

It is strange how every mile closer to America feels like I'm going home, dearly as I love Britain, especially England and Wales. The homesick feeling has been less noticeable this year - probably due to the promise of a close return and also because I've been putting my head down to planning for the practical future instead of just dreaming about the impossible - though I've been doing that too.

I won't pretend I'm not glad to get away from Britain right now. The pressure and confusion of more than one situation was driving me crazy - and I believe the Lord granted the money at this exact point in these circumstances so I can get away, focus on Him and seeking His Will.

When I think of what would have happened if I'd been born 200/300 years ago...well, immigration would have been easier, but that's about the only thing that would have been positive. It wouldn't have taken the eight hours I sometimes complain about - nor the twenty hours I have been complaining about! *hides, shamefaced*
More like months on end, in a wooden ship, with every possibility of my dying before I got there. When/if I did arrive, I wouldn't have been met by a friend with a car, and fed, and taken to a nice comfy bed where I could finally sleep away the discomfort of a strained neck from my uncomfortable aeroplane position. I'd have had to construct my own home, fight for it against the wild animals, nature and hostile strangers (okay, maybe not as a woman but you get the drift) etc. Yes. I'm incredibly blessed.

I'm not entirely sure of the flight path, but the arc of it looks like we are going over where the Titanic sank 101 years ago.

The Titanic. Biggest architectural triumph of its time, giant metal ship which hundreds of people set out to the New World in, comforted by reassurances of designer and architect that nothing could sink the ship. Not just on earth, but in Heaven as well. "God Himself cannot sink this ship." Dangerous words. We all know where the Titanic lies now; crumbled, torn and ripped apart in pieces at the bottom of the ocean.

When man turns his gaze from the Lord of creation to worship creation, it is the most dangerous thing he could do. All creation crumbles away in the end, from man to his work, only held captive in folklore and small remnants scattered here and there, but the Lord is forever and unchanging, ever mysterious, incomprehensible, close and loving, and the same - yesterday, today and forever, long after this ink has faded, the paper rotted away and my body ceased living.

Human beings cling on so to the seen - the life they know, the visible, wanting to invent or create or change something big - to leave a rock on the beach long after the footprint has been washed out by the tide.
We are terrified at being forgotten, yet laugh at the idea of a God Who has inscribed us on the palms of His Hands. We hate change, but mock a God Who is unchanging. We pretend to love change, excitement, newness, when all we're searching for is an end to the restless longing that constantly drives us onwards. What that requires is a step of faith, but we, blind clingers on to "the fragile skin of this tiny planet", refuse to do that.

It took faith for me to be in this aeroplane flying across the seas again. I have faith in the architect who designed the plane to have made every measurement correct, for the fuel to be the exact amount it should be, for parts of the plane not to come flying off, for the windows to be the correct thickness to withstand the pressure from inside and out. The fact that I am standing on a few pieces of metal 35992 ft above an ocean in a metal can powered by engines with fuel should terrify the daylights out of me. If one thing went wrong from design to construction through to the present, I could be dead. But I barely even think about it. It's as natural for me as breathing - though a much less regular occurrence!

Breath is given to me by God, my Creator, and the intelligence of the people designing this also comes from Him.

God has brought me here at this exact moment, exact time. He ordains each of our ways, if we will only surrender them to Him and seek to know His will in every area of our lives.

The tickets were reduced - twice. Which doesn't normally happen.
The aircraft is flying.
The date was changed so I didn't have to go on the wedding day of my friends.
The money came through just at the right time.

God has provided each and every step of this journey - even to it being at the exact time of life that I needed it.

I don't pretend to know why I'm in the situation I'm in. I don't know why God's lead me this way. But I do know He's leading me. And I will follow Him - the God Who parted the Red Sea and opened the skies of America to me.

A few days ago, I was devoid of faith and hope and trust. A certain group of friends and the OYAN prayer group have been praying for me, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I would not be here in my spiritual walk without them. God bless you 1000 times over.

The fleece I have laid before the Lord will, I believe, be answered one way or another. Even if, and probably not, the way I want. Yet, although I ask if possible for the cup to pass from me, yet not my will but His be done.

"All the way my Saviour leads me,
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy
Who through life has been my guide?" ~Fanny Crosby
"This journey of life is a search for joy.
This journey of faith is following You.
Every step of the way
Through the joy and the pain,
Right here in this moment.
Take my heart,
Take my soul.
I surrender everything to Your control.
And let all that is within me,
Lift up to You and say
I am Yours and Yours alone.
Completely." ~Ana Laura

I can't say I'm happy about this journey because I'm not. I'm frankly terrified of the pain I'm 98% certain is coming.

But I'm content to know I'm following Him to the best of my ability, and in thus seeking to put Him and His Will first in my life, I am in His Will. And that, I find peace in.

Join me on this journey too. Not just the American one, but mine through all of time and space, with the Lord of time. :)

Love in Christ,
~Siân

(Written 13.10.13)